Too Rare for Extinction
by LosttheMad
Summary: "The world is full of monsters; liars, traitors, killers, cowards..." Rated M for dark themes and violence.
1. Chapter 1

PROLOGUE:

My name is Roxanne.

I live alone here in this old, decrepit, apartment building. The rain leaks through the roof, and cracks in the wall let the wind in during storms. Sometimes it gets really cold, especially during winter-that's when most of the humans disappear. Not that many of them come down to this part of the city anyway. Here its dirty, old, and practically falling apart. You can hardly blame them. Its pretty much abandoned, no one ever comes here-cat or person.

Some might say its a lonely life, and I might say they're right- But I like to be alone.

Its only when I'm left in complete silence-complete stillness-that the memories return and I am forced to remember...

My throat is burning, and I can barely stand up on my paws any longer. I can feel the blood run down my coat, and hear it's drops falling onto the ground. I didn't want to do it...I didn't have a choice.

Its difficult to breathe you know, when you're choking on your own blood. Air only comes in through short gasps, and your vision blurs as you try to push yourself forward. On heavy paws, I tried to pull myself through the vent on the wall, but my legs crumple beneath me and I collapse before I am able enter my sanctuary.

As I lay there on the cold, unforgiving cement, a small rumble echoes in the sky and slowly, small pindrops of rain begin to fall. They strike me like sharp splinters of ice, but I can do nothing, only look up at the clouds from which they fall.

I've always hated the rain.

There's no point in trying to move anymore; I simply accept it for what it is. What's the point in even trying?

The drops begin to increase at a steady pace, and their weight begins to pull and flatten my fur against the sidewalk. In the distance, the ever-sounding honks and wails of the human's cars sound in the air, even amongst the sound of falling rain. I can feel my blood flowing, mixing with the puddle now forming beneath me, staining it red- But I don't care to look.

The pain is gone now, replaced with the familiar feeling of numbness as I look up into the ashen expanse of sky above, too exhausted to even flinch at the drops that continue to strike me.

Any second now, I will be dead.

It doesn't matter though, nothing ever matters- I only have one thing to say now:

Thanks for nothing.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**If you are following my other stories, you might remember me mentioning something about a new idea I had ;) Well, here is a short prologue I had typed that was stashed away so why not post it now? When I return fully, Legacy WILL be my main focus, so I may not get to this for a while, but I wanted to just put it here.**

**Some Information: **

**-I have it Rated T right now, but that might actually need to go up, just to be safe. There's nothing super bad, its just dark and I'd hate to get in trouble for it, better safe than sorry right? For now, it'll stay T and as we go you can guys can tell me your own opinion about this issue.**

**- This is here for a sort of Disclaimer, because this story is HIGHLY INFLUENCED and could even be called an interpretation of something I discovered very recently. If you know it, you probably already recognized it in this intro. I would like to tell everyone, and to also confirm that these ides and themes are not all my own, but inspired by this thing, BUT it is VERY dark, and a horror, and I really don't want to point anyone to it because it is definitely not for the faint of heart, especially if you are easily disturbed. Very inspiring however, as you can see by the creation of this story :P**

**-ALSO, if you are familiar with my writing, you know that I HATE first person. But for this story it is a necessity, therefore I shall try my best...**

**Lost**

**P.S I am very interested and excited to begin typing this one, I know it may seem odd now, and it IS different, but I hope you will all like it.**


	2. Chapter 2

The next thing I knew, I was awake again, lying in a small clearing that would have been barren had it not been for a few small stones scattered here and there. The trees surrounding were tall, and mist swirled amongst their dark trunks, covering the area like a shroud. Back here I again I thought tiredly, always back here again.

The blood and the wound that had previously scarred my neck was gone now, and my fur had returned to its normal dull color. I almost missed the touch of red, my coat has always been gray and shaggy. Its really quite ugly. Despite not being the most beautiful she-cat to have ever walked the face of the earth, at least I have my eyes. Bright amber, like a fire, they're probably the only thing I've ever remotely even liked about myself.

I didn't feel like getting up, but I knew that lying there would only amount to nothing. There's no fighting the inevitable. With the little energy that still resided within me, I managed to stand and face the familiar gloomy forest. As always, the trees loomed above with their dank, dark trunks; the silence overwhelming, and an overall feeling of emptiness hung in the air.

Stepping forward through the surrounding mist, I entered the deeper part of the clearing and broke through the foggy barrier, watching my own paws on the ground as I went. I knew what would be there, but I didn't want to see it. Not now.

A voice split through the silence, "Roxanne, why do you avert your gaze? Here you've kept me waiting all this time, and now you do not even bother to greet me?"

I had been here a few times now, and it was the same each time I visited. I bet you're wondering how this all happened. Its not much of a story, but I guess I might as well tell you. I remember it like it was yesterday, the day I died.

* * *

It was only a few moons ago when I ate the rat poison that humans leave outside many of their homes and in the alleyways. All of the cats here know that we're not meant to eat it of course, but I did anyway. I ate a whole lot of it. As I began my trip home, the poison began to take effect and the walls would begin to spin around me as my heart slows down.

But I'm not afraid. I feel calm, I'm ready for it...

Then... I found myself in a peculiar forest, all alone. I didn't know what I was meant to do or where I was supposed to go. My memory was clear, I had eaten the poison, I had blacked out- So where was I now. Was this forest what awaited death, or was I imagining it all? My curiosity got the better of me and I did eventually begin to explore... But almost everywhere I looked, I kept finding them, the bodies- _My_ body. Floating in a pool of water, lying dead on the barren earth, hanging limp over a branch. I should've felt scared, but mostly, I just felt...empty.

When I entered a certain clearing, I eventually found him...waiting for me in the center of the small open space between the trees.

"Welcome, Roxanne," He greeted, "I have been waiting for you. I knew you would turn up one fine day like this..."

This moment was the first of many that I would hear that voice, and see that unnatural figure; it still haunts me to this day. I don't think I can even describe the sound; it was an oddly high voice, but at the same time there was a foreboding lowness to it's tone. Scratchy, yet smooth; it sent a shiver down my spine.

"...Death?"

The sharp sound of laughter reverberated around the clearing at my small inquiry, and a grin from the figure met my question. "Am I really? Are you truly that naive?" He tilted his head slightly to the side, "...Or perhaps you're too stubborn to see what I really am?"

Silence met his words as I still tried to figure out where I was and what was going on. "You shouldn't have wasted your time waiting. I'm not worth waiting for." It came out as a mutter, for though I did not know this unfamiliar place or unfamiliar cat, I didn't want to talk.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. One should not be so negative."

I glanced once more around the area, but was unable to see any sign of life, or even the sky above. For all I could've known, there was no sky. "What is this place?" I finally asked.

"This, is my humble kingdom." He replied, but it was said strangely. I couldn't tell if it was sarcasm or if he found something amusing in the statement. His voice made it difficult to tell. Nevertheless, I had a feeling this was no "kingdom".

"I rarely invite cats here," he continued, "Like you, I enjoy my solitude- But you are a special case, and I am going to make an exception."

Me? Special? His words made me snort with an ironic feeling of contempt. "I can tell you right now that there's nothing special about me. You must have the wrong cat."

The figure shook his head at my pessimism. "Do not put yourself down, Roxanne. Today, you are my guest of honor." he crooned, gesturing to the forest surrounding us. From what he had said earlier, it didn't look like much of a kingdom. It was dark, and cold... and I hadn't seen a single other animal around since my arrival; there was not even a tuft of grass on the hard, barren earth beneath our paws. The overwhelming silent atmosphere almost seemed to whisper my name, and despite myself, I could feel my heart beating loudly in my chest as I continuously believed to see movement in the shadows.

"Is there anyone else here?" I said it hesitantly, not wanting to provoke the tom or anything that might've been hiding into coming out. He only laughed at my question, high pitched and scratchy his laughter echoed in the silence, giving at least some sort of form to the obtuse environment.

"Why? I thought you liked being alone? Isn't that why you ran away from everyone?"

My pelt stiffened and I turned away from looking at him, averting amber eyes back toward the suspicious shadows in the trees.

"It doesn't matter..." I returned dully. "What will happen now?" I had no idea where I was, or why I was there. I...I was dead...So now what? Isn't there supposed to be some kind of eternal peace? A light at the end of the tunnel? This was not what I expected at all. I don't know exactly what I was expecting; I guess I thought I would just be...done.

"That depends on you, Roxanne. In this forest, there are dark places, places with things you don't want to see... But there is also something that will make you want to return to your home, and cherish every single little breath you take. I'm going to make you an offer, an offer that only a fool would refuse."

An offer? What could this cat possibly offer me? A few fox-lengths away, amidst the misty trees, I was able to make out the shape of another cat- But it was almost translucent, I had to squint to get a better look. There was no sign of consciousness within the ghost-like cat's eyes as it turned away and vanished into the darkness, concealing its half-vanished form. I tried my best to conceal my worry, luckily I've always been good at keeping a false face.

"Am I going to be trapped here?"

Seeing the ghost cat unnerved me, and in seeing it, it had finally occurred to me: was this meant to be my fate? Was this punishment for what I had done?

"Most cats would be." He answered, "But not you, Roxanne." I blinked and returned to watching the strange cat speak.

"You see, I've watched you long enough to understand how you feel. I don't expect you to believe me when I say this, but I actually have sympathy for you." The tom crooked his head slightly to the side, his smile remained the only visible thing on his face. "Who knows? I could be your only friend, your only friend in the entire world. So, like I said, I am going to make you an offer." The tom rose to his paws and padded closer toward me, but I remained fixed in my position. His words had captured me, and for some reason, a part of me wanted to know more. What could he possibly offer me?

"I want to help you, Roxanne. I can give you back your happiness in exchange for one, simple task. Do it and your life will change completely; you will be yourself again, and you will finally be able to forget the sadness that has consumed your heart for years." He returned to sitting up straight, or as straight as what I believed was possible for the odd tom. "I know what you want, Roxanne, but its not here. Its gone, and it will nevercome again."

Never again...

"What's your offer? What can you possibly fix that life has already destroyed?" My voice remained soft, but I remained strong, questioning him with all my doubt. I wanted to know, what did he think could ever be fixed? What if I didn't want him to try to fix anything...Life is painful enough; you can never depend on others, only yourself. Other cats only let you down...

"Roxanne, death can fix nothing. But though we are both dead," he confirmed, " I am not death. I may seem like just a strange cat in the woods to you, but I am just as powerful as the stars." Upon saying this he rolled back his head to look up into the darkness with a small quirk at the edge of his muzzle.

"And I chose you, Roxanne." He let his head and body fall, relaxing as he fixed me with a gaze I was unable to see. "I need you to go back and find some cats for me, they're very special, just like you. Only in a slightly different way..." he murmured, tapping a large claw against the ground. I was baffled by the sudden request. Go back? Other cats? I could hardly leave my own home, I mess everything up, clearly he should've known that by now.

"I'm a failure, why would you choose me? Aren't you afraid that I'll let you down with whatever it is you want me to do? I don't see the point in anything, most days I don't even want to do anything... And I hate everyone else because they're always so happy; everywhere I look, I see cats enjoying their lives, or cats living so pitifully they make me ashamed to be alive myself. But I don't want any of them. There's no one there for me. I. Am. Alone. I just want to vanish."

"This is exactly why I chose you, Roxanne. I know how you feel, because I myself felt like this for very long time. You and I are quite similar you know. If you accept my offer, you will never feel broken again."

It was intriguing to be sure, but I still didn't really know what he was talking about. I had lived long enough to know that things are never this easy, there's always a catch. Besides, he still hadn't said _exactly_ what he wanted me to do. Finding cats couldn't be too hard, but... I'd really rather not go back.

"These cats you want me to find...who are they?"

"Scum that's what they are." His voice suddenly lowered, and a sneer came across the tom's visible muzzle. "You must constantly be on your guard; they'll want to get close to you, they might even try to pretend to be your friends. But don't let them fool you. They have nothing but cruel intentions; they'll want to hurt you, Roxanne, they'll want to kill you. They all deserve to die."

I blinked at the tom's sudden change in nature. "Isn't my life bad enough without them?" It all sounded so tiring, I didn't want to deal with cats like that.

"Do not be afraid." He grinned again in another strange shift of mood. "You will have a great advantage over them: they don't know that you know who you are. Do you understand what this means?" he asked expectantly. I could offer no answer, and simply sat impassively as I waited for him to tell me.

"You will become my hunter, punishing cats for their incompetence. A tool of destruction. Trust me, you'll find your purpose in life when you see for the first time how satisfying it can be."

"But...how will I recognize them?"

"You will know when you see them. We'll make them regret everything they've ever done."

"Are you expecting me to kill them? I'm no killer." A sense of worry had sparked within me as I thought of encountering these horrible cats. I never thought I could ever bring myself to kill another cat, it was too horrible to even think about.

"No, I am expecting you to fight for survival. I know you're not a killer- Quite the opposite actually, you're a good cat. But I also know that you don't want to suffer. These cats will make you suffer, Roxanne. They won't hesitate, and in the end, you might have no choice. If you don't, innocent cats may die. You have the opportunity to make the difference, and have the chance to save yourself in the process as well."

Thoughts of my old home in the city began to overwhelm me, and I thought of all the violent gangs that controlled the separated blocks. They were vicious, I had always avoided them, and for the best too. Everyone did. If given the chance, or if someone stepped into their territory, they would kill without hesitation- And to think that there could possibly be cats even worse...

"I..I can't do this! This is too much; I avoid fights, I've never been in them!" I had never fought a day in my life, I avoided other cats, I lived alone. Why would he choose me?

"Indeed...You are weak." He admitted whilst dipping his head. "That's why I have a special gift prepared for you..."

A gift?

"Immortality. You cannot die, Roxanne. No matter what happens to you, you will always return to life."

"What? This is the last thing I wanted..."

My head was swimming, I couldn't handle this. I had finally done it, I had finally died, and now- Why was he doing this to me?

"I've made my decision; as long as _they_ are alive, you cannot die."

"That's blackmail!" I shouted, whipping my tail to the side. "You can't do that!-"

"-It is for your own good. _You _are not in a position to bargain with _me, _Roxanne. You will either go and do what I tell you to do, or suffer for all eternity. Forever unable to find the peace you so greatly desire."

It had to be a dream, it all had to be a bad dream. I would wake up and find myself back in my home under the apartment building and this forest would be gone. It had to be a dream... It had to be. This couldn't be happening to me.

"Come with me, I want to show you something." He began to turn away from me and move off into the darkness of the trees; I followed him, albeit a bit reluctantly. I didn't want to be alone is all. We didn't go far, it had only been a number of meters before we stopped in a new clearing located beside a river. The water was a dark color, and nothing was visible in the seemingly thick and murky depths. Its stench wasn't easy to miss either. I looked at the river for a short time before I joined him where he sat a few feet away, only as I approached, horror gripped at my chest. There, lying in the dirt was me- again. A lone crow sat picking at the body; I couldn't bear to look. I shut my eyes tightly together in an effort to escape the gruesome scene, and also in an attempt to stop my paws from trembling beneath me.

"Yes, its you, Roxanne. Why don't you come say hello?" he meowed, urging me forward toward the figure.

I flinched at his touch and backed away from him and the body, shaking my head in retaliation. "No! I don't want to see it!" I wanted to keep my voice strong, but all that came out were the wails of a weak, pathetic cat. "Haven't I had enough yet? All those bodies in the forest...This place is- I don't want to be here!"

I couldn't take it anymore. The first ones were bad enough, but this, this is what I had been avoiding.

"Make it go away!"

He padded behind the figure and sat down noiselessly on the earth. There was no longer any expression on his muzzle, only a single impassive line. "I thought it would be wise to give you a small taste of the suffering you would endure..." he stated seriously, watching my every move. As I opened my eyes to look at his ghastly figure, the forest began to distort around me. The shadows grew in the mist and spread out amongst the ground. I could hear their subtle whispers in my ear and the sudden chill that racked my body.

"Whether you want it or not, these cats must be destroyed. You don't have much of a choice in the matter. You must stand up for yourself." The shadows danced around me and flashed in my eyes, as the trees seemed to close in. I was completely shaken and dismayed, I couldn't take it anymore

"Alright...I'll do you what you want." I finally conceded. I had shut my eyes to escape the vision, but as I opened them again, the visions were gone. The gruesome remains of my body was gone as well, only he was left to stand in the clearing.

"Wonderful." He purred. "I'm glad you have put your trust in me."

"I don't really have anyone else..."

"Good, before I return you to your home, there is something else that must be done. You cannot leave this place without a proper exchange." He said it all so quickly that it took me a moment to fully understand what he had said.

"Exchange? I don't have anything, isn't this enough already?" What more could he possibly want? I didn't have anything left to give...

"Calm yourself," He meowed, sensing my anxiety, "This is a mere formality. You won't be able to return to life unless you make a proper sacrifice, a soul for a soul-so to speak." As he spoke, he pointed his muzzle downward to where a line of four small stones lay at his feet. "See these stones? Just cast one into the stream, that's it. Like I said, it is just a formality."

That's it? I was surprised, but also a bit relieved. Pushing a stone into the water couldn't be that hard, it sounded simple enough. A sigh escaped my parted jaws as I looked up from the line of stones and into the concealed face of my new acquaintance- If you would call it that.

"Wish me luck, strange cat." I meowed dully.

"I do."

The line of stones suddenly appeared at my paws, giving no detail of how or when they had moved from their previous position at his feet. So many strange things had already happened, it hardly surprised me.

"Farewell, Roxanne. I'm not going to be far, I never have been..."

I glanced down at the stones now lying before my paws, thinking of which I should choose and if there was any importance to which I would choose, but as I looked up again, the cat was gone. And I was alone. I eyed the stones for a moment; why four? They were all exactly the same. Small, round, flat, and smooth to the touch. The cool gray surface of the stones were almost calming to the touch, not thinking too much on the matter, I pulled the first one from the line and pulled it over to the edge of the stream, knocking it into the murky water with a small plop. As soon as the stone was swept away by the current, I heard a whisper in my ear; the final breath of an old tom as he passed away in the night.

Shortly afterwards I found myself back in the city, exactly where I was when I had eaten the poison before, very much alive.

* * *

"Now, now Roxanne, you've done a wonderful job."

I had nothing to say to his praise, instead I mustered all the energy I could to just face him once more. "Can't you just let me die?" My voice was only a hushed tone.

"We had an agreement, Roxanne; and you are quite familiar with the terms. Dispose of those we need to."

He began to back away into the forest and as he spoke, the familiar line of four stones appearing at my paws as he went. A soul for a soul, as it was so commonly now.

The final stone at the right end was my choice, and with a slight move of my paw, I pushed it into the murky river. The stone landed with a small plop and was quickly swept away, unseen in the dirty, brown mixture. I watched the water flow in silence until finally my vision began to blur and I grew tired. I was used to it now and allowed the feeling to overtake me.

Then, I slowly pulled myself up and opened my eyes. The rain had stopped now, but the cement was still wet from the shower and the color of my blood was still evident in the aftermath. Shivering, I attempted to shake the water from my rain-soaked pelt to no avail.

The fur on my throat remained coated in blood, but any wound that might've existed before was now gone. At least another one was down...I still don't know how I managed it, but I was able to take down the target assigned to me. I got luck, I supposed, but not lucky enough apparently...

A loud honk alerted me to my location, it scared the living daylights out of me is what it did. One can never get used to the sounds of the city, I'll tell you that much. As if the stench isn't enough already.

I padded down to the end of the ally and proceeded to check both ways before turning onto the next sidewalk- one could never be too careful. The humans aren't fond of strays, and running into a dog would not be a pleasant experience to add to the evening.

I had had enough pain today. It was time to finally go home.

* * *

**PAGE BREAK**

**Went ahead and bumped it up to M for dark themes. This scene is one of three that will most mirror what this is an interpretation of, the others are more original. This could even be considered a crossover, but I know it wouldn't have a category on here. When I finish I will tell you what this is an interpretation of ;) If you know it, you've probably already recognized it in this chapter because it mirrors it so closely.**

**-Lost**


	3. Chapter 3

Getting home took a while, that's really the only bad thing about living out in the outskirts of the city, its a long walk home. I usually never stray that far into the interior; not only are there far too many humans for my liking, but there are plenty more cats living in the area. I might've mentioned them before, but you should know that in the world of the humans, every cat is on their own. Everything is a competition for food and survival, to some cats life is only a game. You can't trust anybody, I learned that the hard way.

By the time I finally made it to my building, the rain had already set deep within my fur- which is just fantastic I'll let you know. It takes about five times as long to clean it when it becomes all matted and disgusting, not that my pelt wasn't dirty enough to begin with- But I digress. The building itself is abandoned. I don't think a twoleg has visited the place for moons; its quiet and I have it all to myself, just the way it should be.

I enter through the small broken window at it's base, and its still the only way to get in and out of the building since I first came across it.

Home. Thankful to be out from under the swirling gray sky and chilly wind, I was able to shake of my fur in the new dry environment and chose a comfortable spot on the ground, pulling some old food out from my personal store as well- But I really didn't feel like eating. I didn't even bother to take care of my damp pelt and the new matts that were likely forming beneath.

For hours I simply laid there, staring into the dark, listening to the sound of rain; I didn't particularly feel like doing anything else. At some point I must've fallen asleep though, 'cause when I woke up, it was suddenly lighter. New light meant a new day, and a new day meant it was time to go and see what food I could manage to find.

Squeezing through the small windowspace was easy- that's the nice thing about the building I live in, it gives plenty of space and I don't have to crouch down all the time- But that's it. The cats around here are all mangy, flea-bitten rats; and we already have enough of those around here.

Oh? Didn't I tell you?

...I HATE rats.

The broken window that I use as an entrance to my home leads to a pretty big alleyway on the side of the building. There's a lot of human trash there for sure, but there aren't any dumpsters or cans around. Its because the humans don't come over here much; the most I see of them is when their transporters zip by on the street. To get to any sort of food, I would have to go a bit deeper into the city- You have to be careful there. Not only because of dogs and humans, but because of the gangs that take up their territories there- their blocks- there. Everyone knows them as the "gangs"; they're mainly large, competing family groups of cats, and they don't take kindly to outsiders coming into their territory. Unfortunately, their territories are exactly where all the food goes. How about that?

-And just because I _can _afford to get killed doesn't make it any more of a pleasant experience, yeah?

The rest of us city cats have to survive by gathering scraps outside of their territories, not that it matters much.

Since the deal, I haven't come across many of the cats _he_ was talking about at all. There was one. At first, after the dream, I had trouble believing any of it had actually happened, I had only now begun to realize what I was and what had truly happened.

When I came back to life that day, after eating the poison, I woke in an unfamiliar place with two cats standing over me...

* * *

"I think she's awake!" A voice called. My vision was blurry, but the foggy outline of a cat was starting coming through. She was standing over me, peering down with wide, curious, brown eyes. The tabby she-cat blinked twice and turned to what I assumed was her companion. The sound of pawsteps shuffling over wasn't hard to miss as he too came to my side.

The she-cat moved back as the tom arrived, looking me over with great interest. "Its good to see your awake. Are you feeling okay?"

I said nothing, still attempting to process what had happened. Had it all been a dream?

"You're on block thirty, beneath the old parking garage. I'm Bo." He paused for a moment. "What's your name?"

"Roxanne."

"Well Roxanne, you are the luckiest cat I've ever met." Bo meowed, shaking his head. "That was rat poison, not so many cats can walk away from that, but we've looked you over and you seem absolutely fine. Its incredible, you have no idea how lucky you are!"

I've always had the worst of luck, actually.

"...We?" I muttered dully. I honestly didn't feel like dealing with other cats at the moment. My entire body felt heavy, and memories of the dream were still ripe in my mind.

"Yes, our group found you. One of the other cats should be here to take care of you for a little bit, you should rest."

I was confused more than anything, at that point I'm pretty sure I had almost entirely lost track of reality. The tom escaped my vision and the sound of pawsteps drummed through my head. Sleep was trying to take me, but I was fighting it as best I could. Block thirty. Block thirty... Where was block thirty again?

I was zoning in and out, barely able to keep my eyes open as the world slowly began to fade to black. What was happening?

The world went black, and it wasn't until later that I would wake up again. The sound of several small noises woke me from my sleep, and as I blinked myself awake, I recognized the she-cat from before. Our eyes connected for a moment, and she merely blinked at me before coming over to where I lay.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up? I'm just here to check on you for the others- I'm Clara by the way. You probably want to go home. I don't blame you, I hate this place, but where else can I go right? They just want to make sure you're feeling well enough _to _go home."

A small hunk of meat was placed at my side, likely found in a nearby human building or garbage. It was at that point that I was reminded of where I was. Block thirty. It was all the way on the other side of the city from my home... How did I get there?

"Well anyway," Clara meowed amiably, running a paw over one ear. "I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but you're so lucky. Its crazy! You doing what you did, and her walking by and seeing what she saw- that was a lucky chance."

Yeah, just my luck. I didn't respond to the tabby she-cat for a while, I thought she would get the hint, but apparently this wasn't the case.

Clara moved away for a moment and returned with some food of her own she had set aside and settled down beside me. "They make me do all the grunt work here." She muttered moodily, pawing at her food. "I tell ya, one day I'm going to tell them what I really think! I swear I will!"

An awkward silence fell over the two of us as I continued to stare at the concrete above. She took a few bites of her food, but after she took a large swallow she suddenly paused. I think she was starting to get the message. She got back onto her paws and began to pad away, stopping to look back.

"...Just wanted to say you're lucky, and...I hope that you've changed your mind about some things. I have to go now, but I'll see you later okay?"

I had been ignoring her for most of the time, but what she said made me glance her way before she disappeared through a hole in the wall. What could she possibly know?

* * *

The sound of a strange scratching noise woke me from my sleep, but there was no one else in room, only me. I started to pull myself up, but my legs nearly crumpled beneath me. I never realized how utterly exhausted I was, it was frustrating. Before I could try again, the noise resonated once more all around. My breath hitched in my throat, I didn't want to admit it to myself then, but I was afraid.

The noises grew louder and louder, but I saw nothing in the room. Not from behind, above, ahead, or to the side. Before I knew it, the noises were upon me and darkness fell over the room like a shroud. Unkown figures in the dark struck out against me, tearing away at my body. I was unable to struggle against them as they continued to tear at my limbs and mutliate my body. Flesh searing with pain, I tried to yell, but no words left my parted jaws and a strong grip came over my limbs and began to pull, stretching my body apart.

My heart nearly stopped in my chest and my body had gone completely cold, it took me a few minutes to realize I was still in the room and Clara, the she-cat from early was watching me only a few feet away.

"Bad dream?"

I allowed myself the time to breathe for a moment in an effort to calm my body down and placate my fried nerves. "...Yeah, you could say that. A really bad one." It felt like my paws were shaking, but looking down I noticed they were as still as ever.

"I knew it! I knew you were having a bad dream the moment I walked in- What was it about?"

I could hear the whistle of wind coming from outside of the garage and through the small gaps and holes here and there, it made the area cold. Glancing outside one of the openings above, I could see the sky, gray and cloudy as ever. My skin prickled at the very thought of the nightmare.

"I was getting torn apart..."

Clara hardly seemed affected by the prospect at all, staring at me as if it was a common thing to dream of- That or maybe she was used to listening to the nightmares of other people. She made a small humming noise for a moment and flicked her tail.

"Actually that reminds me of something I heard not too long ago. There was a cat living around here who went to find food in Block Twenty-Two, we told her not to go, but she wouldn't listen! Got ripped apart by dogs, poor thing. That's why you have to be careful in the city, these cats who come in from other places just don't seem to understand that."

"..."

"Sorry, I guess you didn't need to know that did you?" Clara meowed awkwardly, shooting an apologetic glance my way before shaking her head in frustration. "There I go again, me and my big mouth. I never know when to shut up."

I didn't care much at the moment, I was still just trying to piece everything together. So far no one had told me anything, and I hadn't seen that tom from before- Bo- anytime afterwards.

"What happened to me?"

"What do you remember?" Clara returned, sidling up beside me.

"I remember... eating the poison. I remember the alley blurring around me, and I remember the feeling of the world suddenly starting to slow down and the sound of the transporters and city fading away. I felt so calm..." Memories of the dream began to return to me, clear in my mind like faint whispers in the night.

"- And then I woke up in a forest. It was dark and foggy, there was no light, and no stars. At first I was happy to explore the forest, I was free- But it soon got worse and I got lost in the woods. Everywhere I went, I kept finding bodies, my dead body. Floating in the water, hanging off the branch of a tree; I eventually came across a small clearing, there was a strange cat waiting for me there. I think he was Death... I'm not sure. He never told me his name. He said I should go back, gave me another chance; and so, here I am... Strange dream, huh?"

"Maybe it wasn't a dream." Clara offered seriously.

"It felt real, but it was just a dream." I was less concerned with the dream and more concerned with how I had wound up in Block Thirty of all places. "Can you tell me what happened, and who found me?"

"I don't know. I wasn't there, but when they brought you here it looked like you'd passed out or something, like a coma. You're lucky she came looking for you and found you when she did, otherwise who knows what might've happened."

"Wait... who found me?"

Clara blinked incredulously. "Your daughter of course! She called for help. If it wasn't for her you'd be dead right now."

"My...daughter?" The cold feeling from earlier made itself present within me once more.

"Yeah, why?" She asked, waving her striped tail curiously. Her gaze suddenly became more concerned. "Roxanne, why do you look so sick all of a sudden?"

"I don't have a daughter." The words left a dry feeling in my mouth, about a dozen new questions had now surfaced in my mind on top of everything. "Whoever that she-cat was, she lied."

"But why would she do that?"

"How should I know?" The words left my mouth with added venom. "I was in a coma, apparently!"

"So she lied." Clara returned evenly. "It doesn't change the fact that that cat saved your life."

"I was fine! I didn't ask for any help!"

Clara was taken aback by my sharp hiss, choosing to remain silent for a long moment before meeting my eyes.

"Sorry." I meowed. I hadn't meant to lash out at her. "When do you think I'll be able to go home?" My voice was hopeful; I didn't like unfamiliar places, the sooner I could get home the better.

"Probably not today, maybe tomorrow depending on how you're feeling. Prissy took a look at you, and she's good with these kinds of things." Clara paused for a moment to glance behind her at the hole in the concrete wall, rotating her ears to listen for the sound of approaching pawsteps. "Look, I should probably warn you- there's this cat here, they call him X. He's like our leader of sorts, he'll want to make sure you're okay before you go- and you won't be able to until he's talked to you, and he...he's really good at getting into your head. Know what I mean? He'll ask you a lot of questions," Clara's tone sudden shifted from serious to happy in a matter of seconds," -But he's a really great tom!" she purred. "You should trust him."

"X?" That was an odd name for a cat, was it short for something? I couldn't help but wonder.

"Yeah, I think he came up with it himself. I personally really like him, but you hear all sorts of stories floating around. I try not to pay them any mind- All I know is, most cats would turn you away, but X has been nothing but kind and friendly and supportive. He's a great leader. Most cats don't even pay you any attention, but X always stops and asks how I am. He knows that I don't like it here."

"What do cats say about him?"

"Oh, that. They say he's a big flirt, doesn't care as long as they're female. One she-cat, Sugar, someone said they were going to be mates, but she supposedly ran away as soon as she as expecting kits. Couldn't take the rough life, she had previously been a housecat mind you. Stupid girl." Clara snorted and pushed away a small stone at her paws. "She left and we never saw her again. I guess he'll be more careful from now on, but I can't really say anything bad about him personally. Although..." Clara trailed off, meeting my own eyes for a second.

"Maybe one thing, don't laugh okay? He's got a weird...smell." she mused.

"What do you mean?"

"He just smells...funny? I don't know, maybe he doesn't like bathing on a regular basis."

"Oh." I responded. "Thanks for the warning. I'll try not to get too close to him." Clara could sense the sarcasm in my voice, but merely chose to ignore it.

"Now that I think about it...there's something else too. I'll tell you this Roxanne. Once he starts talking to you, you just sort of open up. Its really weird! I'm not normally one to hide things, but he got some really private stuff out of me."

"So, what about you? Why are you here anyway?" I meowed, trying to keep up some sort of conversation so I wouldn't fall victim to boredom. This she-cat sure liked to talk a lot; she seemed really insecure.

"Me? I'm nobody, just another cat trying to survive in this dump. We all have to find our way somehow right, I help the group out and they let me stay here. There are two other she-cats here as well. One of them is _always _sick, her coughing is disgusting! I think its because she's got a hairball stuck in her throat that just won't budge, she's always licking herself, so it wouldn't surprise me. I can never get any sleep at night. And the other," Clara paused to screw up her face in a rude manner. "Well let's just say she isn't exactly a ray of sunshine. I'm pretty sure she has a mate in one of the gangs around here, she's always sneaking these little round human treats off to him. I used to have a mate; I tried to give him some once, but he didn't like it much. He didn't like me much either; he left some time ago, and on my birthday too. Of all days, right? He never told me why- But I don't care anymore. He's always complaining about one thing or another anyway."

"I'm tired." The bland statement stopped her in her ramblings and seemed to pull her back into reality.

"Okay, I get the hint. I'll go now, just be careful Roxanne, they'll be watching you." she added, looking back toward the hole to which I could only assume more members of the group resided.

"How do I know you're not one of 'them'?" I muttered inquisitively, challenging Clara with one of many emotionless stares.

"You don't, but come on. Do I look like a bad cat to you?"

"I guess not..." What do bad cats really look like anyway? They're really no different from any of us, that's probably the scariest part...

"I'll see you later with some more food, and remember what I said, dreams are just dreams." Clara turned and padded away toward the hole, before stopping to look back supportively. "But when they turn into nightmares, its good to have someone there to wake you up, right?"

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**I am not enjoying this first person at all, but I suppose its too late to change it now. _ What do you guys think? Do you like the first person or would you rather I shift to third? I could do the next chapter in third (even though it'll stick out) as a at test to see which one you like better.**

**Lost**


	4. Chapter 4

The next day I woke up feeling better. My head didn't feel heavy any longer and I could stand on my own. The new clearness of mind and body finally allowed me to get a good look at where I was. Block Thirty. I made my way to the opening of the wall carefully, not wanting to push myself should something else happen. The hole was big enough for two cats two squeeze through, and some old iron bars were poking out from inside the cement where they had somehow been torn away. It was only after leaving my little "den" that I was able to recognize the place for what it was, and abandoned transporter den. Some cats have another word for it, but I don't remember anymore. All I know is, tons of human transporters would gather in big, open places like this and rest- At least I think that's what they were doing, its the only time they ever seemed to go quiet.

My area had simply been a small separated enclave in one of the walls, and now that I was out of it, I could see how big this group really was. Cats were walking about and lying on the cement resting, I hadn't expected it to be this large. Big groups of cats were pretty abnormal, unless they were a gang, but I don't remember any gangs taking up Block Thirty. Besides, I don't think a gang would have taken me in so gladly.

It was still rather gray outside from what I could see from the large, rectangular holes lining the walls, but it was lighter out and there wasn't a drop of rain to be seen. I needed to go home now, I couldn't stay there any longer. I had a long walk ahead of me.

Still.

It would be better if I at least told somebody I was going, so I padded up to the nearest she-cat lying on the ground nearby. She was licking her paw with closed eyes and seemed to be off in her own little word, fur the color of a smoky gray sky. She stopped abruptly as I approached and lay down a paw, opening a single green eye to gaze at me in irritation.

"Can I help you?" she snapped saucily.

"Yes, do you know where Clara is? I'd like to talk to her." I replied calmly, despite this she-cat's attitude. I could be patient when I wanted; when cats cross the line, that's when I get annoyed.

The smoky she-cat sniffed in disdain and returned to grooming her foreleg, muttering out, "Who?"

"Clara. She stopped by to see me the other day; tabby, brown fur, likes to talk a lot."

The she-cat gave an exasperated sigh and laid down her paw, turning to finally look at me with both eyes. "Look," she snapped, "Its not my job to pay attention to each and every little cat here, okay?"

It didn't look like I'd be able to see Clara again anytime soon, and it wasn't worth going on some giant search.

"Well, I'm just going to go now. Sorry for causing you all trouble." I returned with reproach; what a foul she-cat.

I was about to turn and pad away, but she finally seemed to liven up. "Hey!" she meowed, catching my attention. "No one gets to leave without talking to X first. Has he seen you?"

I blinked. X, right. I didn't have time to sit around and chat with some random cat, my life wasn't any of his business, and I don't like to be pushed around.

"X? Yeah I talked to him." I answered casually, "Now I'll just be going."

"Oh, really?" She returned venomously, obviously seeing straight through the lie. Mousedung.

"Yeah, really. And what we talked about is none of your business, you cats have no right to keep me here any longer. I'm going home!" Cats were beginning to stop and look our way, and it was beginning to unnerve me.

Miss smoky she-cat finally got up to face me. "I'm sorry, but you can't leave until X talks to you, that's the rule. Now go wait in your den. "Noticing my narrowed gaze she added another lengthy sigh of irritation, "Don't make me get someone to force you."

A few larger toms nearby stepped closer, as they had sensed a rising tension in the conversation, but the she-cat made them stop with a flick of her tail. I met her green eyes coldly, not needing to openly voice my displeasure.

"Well," I began, turning to look back at the toms closing in. "If you didn't want me to leave, then maybe you should've had someone waiting outside the den. I didn't realize that I was being kept prisoner here."

"Roxanne..." she muttered.

At first I wondered how she could have possibly known my name, but then I remembered my first day at the den. That Bo must've told the other group my name, I bet everyone had heard of me by now. The crazy she-cat who decided she was hungry enough to eat rat poison and lived.

"Don't bother. I'm going."

I turned my back on the other cats and she and padded back toward the hole in the wall, not bothering to turn and look back behind me. Settling back inside, I stared out of the entrance and watched as a few cats went about their daily business, staring out impassively. I would have to sneak away when they weren't looking; I wasn't going to just sit around, I was going to go home.

Unfortunately I wouldn't get the chance much later.

It was dark by the time many of the cats had cleared out of the area or had gone off to sleep, and luckily Smoky was gone too. It was my chance. Using what poor hunting skills I had, I crept as quietly as possible out of the den and into the large, open area. The entrance wasn't far, I could see it only a few meters away. It wasn't hard to miss either, being the size that it was- Otherwise the transporters would never fit. How do you think they got in?

Getting through the area was easy, my pads made scarcely a sound on the smooth stone ground, and everyone was asleep a good distance away. I felt rather smug as I exited the large building and stepped out onto the sidewalk. Because it was late, there weren't many twolegs or their transporters around. Staying on the main street was never a good idea though, it was better to take the back alleys. Which is exactly why I turned the corner of the building and made my way down a smaller, though still very large, passage that would take me deeper into the backstreets.

There were a few streetlight's lining my path so I didn't have to go in complete darkness. That was good. I still had a long walk ahead of me, but feeling of being able to lie in my own den pushed me forward. I turned another corner, leading into a smaller dark alley.

I nearly leapt out of my fur when a cat suddenly stepped out of the shadows and into the light of the final streetlamp. He was a tall, sleek black tom, and his yellow eyes stood out against his shiny black pelt.

"Hello." he greeted. "You must be Roxanne."

From behind me, I heard the sound of more cats closing in, and turning, I looked to see the two large toms from earlier along with the smoky gray she-cat. She looked annoyed, and quite unhappy.

"Relax," it was said with bitterness, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I want to apologize on behalf of my cats." the black cat started. "We never had any intention of making you feel like a prisoner here. It isn't safe for you to walk the streets at night all by yourself, please, allow your body more time to rest."

I looked between him and the cats behind me, it didn't feel like I really had a choice in the matter. I sighed in defeat, there was no way I was getting past all four of these cats.

* * *

The three cats from before led me back to my little den, then they left me to rest. I don't know how long I had been laying there, but a light prodding on my back woke me up. I hadn't remembered falling asleep. I turned to face my visitor, fully surprised to see Clara standing over me with familiar brown eyes.

"Roxanne, I'm glad you're awake. We need to talk, now, its important-" She turned to look back out the hole, as if she had heard something that I had not. "We have to go," she meowed, "Its not safe here, you're not safe here."

I was still groggy from sleep, but I managed to stand up and face the she-cat. The look in her eyes was dead serious, but it didn't make sense. What was she talking about?

"Clara, what-"

"Follow me quickly!"

She disappeared out of the den without another word. I went after her, the garage was completely silent. I didn't see any other cat in the area. Clara was waiting for me and as I followed, she lead us further, going up the hill that formed in the transporter den. "Hurry!"

I tried to keep up with her, but she was quick. I called after her, "Wait!"

She stopped abruptly and signaled toward the entrance behind us where it appeared that cats were now on patrol. "We have to go this way," she meowed. "Up. Hurry, you go first. I'll explain everything once we're out, you have to escape or they'll hurt you. Just follow me." she nudged me along as we continued.

Higher and higher we went, Clara assuring me that she knew a way out, until we were standing on the top of the building, with the moon shining down from above and the cool night breeze blowing calmly against our pelts.

Clara had gone ahead of me and leapt up onto the edge of the building in the second I had taken to look up at the sky. When I saw her, my thoughts changed entirely.

"What are you doing, Clara- Stars...you're covered in blood!"

When had that happened?! Sure enough, the she-cat's light brown fur was stained with blood, dry and sticking to her pelt. For a moment she said nothing, she wouldn't even look at me.

"Clara?..."

"Its quicker than going back down all those flights. Besides, the others are guarding the entrance anyway. This is the only way out, its our only escape. Let's both jump together, it won't hurt."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. We were on the roof a building! "You're crazy!" I replied, "No cat could survive a fall like that, you'd hit the ground way too hard! You've lost your mind, get down from there and we can talk."

Clara shook her head, meeting my gaze evenly with her own. "I've already made up my mind, this is the only escape. I have no one to live for anyway." her voice grew darker, more upset. "No one _ever _listened to me, no one ever cared-"

"I listened." I cut in, fully focused on getting the she-cat to step in and away from the ledge. "You're a nice cat, you've got an entire life ahead of you. Come on, Clara, this isn't the end."

Clara snorted. "Oh, right, you listened. Really?"

"Yeah, I did. You talk a lot, but I've always preferred listening to cats rather than actually talking myself, I liked talking to you."

"If you listened, then you would remember the story I told you. About the she-cat who went out of the block?" Clara sounded doubtful, annoyed even. Like she didn't believe me.

"Yes, I do. The one who got ripped apart by dogs, right?"

She went silent for a moment and averted her gaze. "Okay... so you have listened, but that could've just been a lucky guess." Her eyes flashed back up again, brown orbs glistening with as much feeling as they had been before. "I have to jump anyway, there's no other option. Don't you see?"

"No, you don't!" I was growing desperate, and my legs had begun to feel shaky beneath me. "Please, wait! Just think about everything for a second."

"Aren't you listening to me?! I don't have a choice." she hissed, fur bristling in the pale moonlight.

"Yes, you do!" What was her problem, why was she doing this? "You can come back with me and go back down to the den, then we can think about what we're going to do. We can forget all about this, like it never happened."

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Do you remember what else I told you? I'm pretty sure I told you about the she-cats I live with. I bet you don't remember that."

"Sure I do. One is always sick and coughing, and the other likes to sneak off to see her mate in a gang. Come on, Clara, step down. Please?"

A small smile came across Clara's face, and she returned my worried gaze warmly. "You have listened...I wish other cats would."

I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief, thankful to get through to the she-cat. "I'm sure some do, it can't be that bad." I meowed positively, trying to comfort the tabby.

"What do you know?! You're not even from around here- Why do you care so much anyway?" she replied, narrowing her eyes.

"Because I...Look, I don't want you to make the same mistake that I did..."

Clara was silent, mouth set in a thin unreadable line. Even the wind had stopped and made her body still. "I thought you of all cats would know how it feels to be trapped and alone, where you can't trust anybody..."

"I'm sure there's someone who cares about you."

"My group doesn't care, my family never cared, my own mate didn't even care! He said he needed to be alone," she scoffed, but fell silent. "You really did listen to me... You and I could've been good friends." She looked up to shoot me a comforting gaze. "I'll be back, don't worry. When you need help, I'll be there."

It all happened so fast, when she turned away and moved over the edge, disappearing in less than two seconds from my vision.

"No!" I burst forward in an attempt to grab her, to stop her, but I wasn't quick enough... From below I heard the sound of a loud thump, though it was too dark to see anything. Now standing alone, I looked up at the moon, a new heaviness setting within my heart like a stone or block of ice. Why...

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**So, because I got zero feedback I stuck with first person. The reason I don't like it is because it just makes it a lot harder to describe outside things, especially in conversations. Again, if you have any input on the 1st-3rd person issue please let me know**

**Lost**


	5. Chapter 5

"So, Roxanne. I hope that you are feeling better, the well-being and safety of all cats is truly very important to me. I make it my job to take cats in, give them a home, a family. Its remarkable how different we all are, in form and personality. I enjoy being able to meet other cats; I'm sorry for any confusion my group have caused, and I take full responsibility. I hope that no one has offended you in any way."

It turned out that X was the black cat I had run into in the alleyway the other night, though I think a part of me already knew that. I was finally able to go visit him later in the morning at his "den", which was really just an old abandoned room in the neighboring building made available due to a broken window. It made me a bit uncomfortable the way his eyes never seemed to leave me, hardly blinking as they retained eye contact. His words were kind though, laced with the sound of a certain wise air and intelligence. It was really hard to believe he was just like the rest of us, the way his black pelt was shiny and thick, and despite his leanness he appeared healthy. He was an odd breed of cat, unlike any I had seen before. It made me wonder where he had come from.

"No...Its just been a very long, difficult couple of days. I'd really like to return to my home." I replied, hoping that I hadn't offended him. It was nice of him to allow me into his group's home until I was in better health, something I'm sure not many cats would do, but I was fine now.

"Of course, I understand." he conceded, dipping his narrow head respectfully. "And go home you shall, after we've had our little chat. I just need to make sure you're doing well enough to go out on your own-"

His words sparked a sudden flame within me, something that I was sick of hearing and dealing with. "You want to check and see if I'm crazy." I had heard the whispers, seen the looks the other cats sent my way. The poison incident was bad enough, but after what had happened last night, no one seemed to be taking me seriously.

"Now, I wouldn't use those terms exactly, but yes. I just want to make sure you'll be okay in the city on your own. You seem like a smart she-cat Roxanne, I know you're smarter than to mistake rat poison for food. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about. I could tell from the moment I met you that you're not crazy."

I didn't really have a choice, then again, when have I ever had a choice?

"Fine. I'll answer your questions, then I'll be going on my way."

"Excellent!" X took a seat on the old, worn down rug of the apartment. I did the same, noting the layer of dust that seemed to cover everything in the room. The humans really hadn't been in this place forever. They only really lived in the center of the city now, but I avoided that place normally.

"So," he began in good conversation, keeping eye contact. It honestly felt like he was seeing right through me. "Where are you living at the moment?"

"I don't live in any real block or in a gang if that's what you're asking. I live alone on the other side of the city, its pretty lonely, but I like it that way..." X made a small noise of understanding and nodded. "I mean, I've always liked to be alone. I'm not interested in joining a group or anything, but sometimes I wonder- There's never anyone to really talk to." I shrugged. "Probably leaves me with too much time with my thoughts."

"Maybe you should try to make some friends, join a group. Most are very good, with cats that will help you. Not everyone in this city belongs to a gang." he suggested. To which I only offered a stare in return, I had already said I wasn't interested in any groups.

"Do you live well on your own? Coming by food must be quite hard I'd imagine."

"It can be, but its hard for all of us. I don't normally find much, some days I'm too tired to even try. I always feel tired, too tired to even get out of my den. I already know what will happen if I do." A part of me felt a bit uncomfortable talking about myself, it was strange, even stranger to have someone listening.

"And what's that?"

"Nothing. Nothing ever happens, its the same boring thing day after day: finding food, returning home, sleeping, waking up, going to look for more food- And if something does happen, its never a good thing. Life is so empty, meaningless here. Its stupid, sometimes I wonder why I even bother going out."

"We all need food to survive, Roxanne. That's simply nature. It seems to me that you feel safer in an enclosed environment, like your home."

"Uh...yeah, I guess." That was kind of an odd statement, but isn't it the same for everyone? "Outside there's twolegs, dirt, transporters, disease, noise, wind, rain, dogs... You always have to be on your guard, otherwise the city will just swallow you up whole." I wonder how it even came to this, cats living in the city. What was the world like before the humans? I can't even imagine...its been this way since I was born.

"True, but any situation can be made better. Don't you agree? You seem to hate this city quite a bit, what could make it better for you?"

That question stumped me for a moment. What could make life better? What was it that I wanted? I was always unhappy with the city and the way I lived, what was missing?

"Someone to listen I suppose, a friend. Someone I can finally trust, but other cats don't like me much. Never have." Who would ever want to spend their time with me? Some mangy foul-tempered she-cat who can't even stand to leave her den?

"I doubt that." X meowed, "You just need to try to open up more. You're a very likeable cat."

"Please, I know myself."

X didn't appear to be taken back by statement, he didn't seem fazed at all really. His yellow eyes flickered away for a moment to look out the open window. It was getting late, the sky-though normally gray- had a certain orange tint to it. It was actually kind of nice, it was warm. The entire ambience of this place soothed me.

"How are you feeling right now?" X asked, changing the subject.

"Fine. A lot better than I was after the...incident."

"Good! You'll be able to get on well then. Your home is quite far away, I hope you'll be able to make it there safely on your own." His eyes changed slightly for a moment, looking at me with a soft, yet serious expression. "You know, sometimes near death experiences can be a good thing. They make us realize that we aren't ready to die just yet."

"..."

"Why did you eat the rat poison? Surely you were aware of what it would do."

"I guess...I felt like I didn't have any other options left, and I was sick it, living an empty life for nothing. It just happened... I knew what I was doing was wrong and that it could kill me, but I couldn't stop it...I guess I'm not really helping the whole crazy thing, am I?" I laughed a bit, an empty laugh. The kind of laugh you do when you don't know what else to say in an uncomfortable situation. "What about you? What made you want to start a group, where's your family?"

"I'm not sure myself." X admitted. "I was taken here by the humans when I was very young. At some point I managed to escape and made my home here in the city. I realized immediately how hard it must be for the cats already living here, so I thought I might make a place where they can be helped." X wrapped his tail around his paws. "What about you? Where's your family?"

I averted my gaze for a moment; talking about my family was something I definitely wasn't used to. It was one of thoughts that tended to come up when I was alone- Then again, maybe talking about it would do me good. X was strangely calming to talk to.

"I never knew my father, he left when I was very young so I never had any real feeling about it. He was basically a stranger to me. I remember he didn't even look at me as he passed by for the final time, my mother had already turned away from him, but not me. I still remember that day clearly in my mind, it was a cold, winter morning. Not even the human's transporters were making a sound. Mom was great though," I smiled a bit at the warm memory. "She was a great Mom, but I don't think she ever got over my father leaving. I would see her sometimes...just staring out into the street, watching the transporters zip by. She died when I was about eight moons old."

X's expression hadn't changed, just as it hadn't since we had begun our talk. He did speak up though. "I'm sorry. It must have been difficult for you. I have only one more question, what exactly happened last night?"

I knew this was bound to come up, I had made such a big deal of it in the morning. No one was listening though, they all thought I had lost my mind. "After I met you, I went back to my den like the other cats said, but I was woken up in the middle of the night. It was the she-cat I had met on my first day here, she said we needed to talk..."

"I went after her, it must have been very late at the time because everyone was gone. She led me up the building until we were both standing on the roof. She told me that jumping was the only escape, I tried to stop her, but she... she stepped off the building. After that I went back, I tried telling others about Clara, but no one would listen to me. They all just thought I was crazy."

X blinked and tilted his head slightly. "Are you _positive_ you saw Clara jump off the building?"

I was sick of people looking at me like that. "You know what...it doesn't matter. It was nice talking to you, but I think its time I left now." I stood up abruptly; X soon followed suit.

"Roxanne," he meowed, cutting in, "I know Clara quite well. She would never do something like that, in fact, I just saw her this morning. She's fine. I want you to come with me and see her, say 'hello' and make sure she's okay."

"_Stop_ treating me like I'm crazy!- Fine, I don't even care anymore. Let's just make it quick, I really want to go home." Getting home was my top priority now. I was sick of this place, sick of these cats, sick of everything.

X nodded and padded toward the window, leaping up onto its frame. "Of course." He turned back to look at me and gestured for me to follow. "Follow me."

Together we leapt down onto the metal platform outside the window and made our way down the stairs. X then took the lead, and we headed down the main sidewalk by the road. It was quiet because it was late, but one transporter did speed by. Rather noisily, too. It was sort of nice though, quiet, warm, with that orange blush on the sky. It would be even better once I got home.

X made a turn into an alley and stopped, I padded a bit further ahead of him, looking around the area curiously. "This is a dead end...?" I meowed, looking up at the surrounding brick walls. Clara was nowhere to be seen.

A shadow fell over me from behind, blocking out the warm sunlight shining into the alley. I turned around in confusion. X stood calmly ahead of me in the opening.

"I plan ahead Roxanne... I had a feeling about you, and I'm never wrong on these things."

My heart nearly stopped in my chest as fear came over me and X padded closer, yellow eyes now dark in the shade of the buildings. As he did so, I moved back as well, searching for an escape, but I couldn't find any amongst the three brick walls.

"I feel like I really got to know you though, I'm sorry you've had such a painful life."

He was coming closer, I was nearly against the wall now.

"You're a very smart she-cat, but life has taken its toll on you, enveloped you in sadness. There is no way to come back from it- You're quite beautiful you know, I like your amber eyes, and the way they sparkle in the light."

He was only a few feet away now, a changed cat in the shadows of the darkness. "For what its worth, I would've let you go if it wasn't for Clara..."

I tried to move back, but there was nowhere left to go. His claws struck me hard, a sharp blow to the underbelly, and a rapid slash across the throat. Again and again, he slashed...

My blood stained the walls of that alley.


	6. Chapter 6

I didn't know where I was at first, but the cawing of a crow soon pulled me out of my daze. I was back in the forest from before, from my dream. It hadn't changed from what I remembered. Misty, bleak, empty.

'_That horrible X... he hurt you Roxanne.'_

The fur on my neck prickled instantly, recognizing that strange, cold voice. I looked around, searching for the strange tom from my dream before, but I didn't see him anywhere. I didn't know where I was or what to do, and I remember thinking those exact words when the voice answered me again.

_'Its me, Roxanne. I will lead you back from this place, do not fear. Come along, this way, just over that log, and your reward will be waiting for you...'_

Reward? A short crackling sound caught my attention, making me turn at an angle to see the trees moving and the undergrowth clearing a path for me. I could see a large log up ahead, it must have been the log he was talking about. I wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but I had better listen to him I reasoned. What else was there to do? Besides, what was this about a reward?

So I made my way down the newly cleared path and toward the log, brushing up small tufts of dirt from the lifeless ground as I went. The log lay across the path, large and rotted. What was I supposed to do? I touched a paw to the log out of sheer curiosity, feeling the soft, rotted wood beneath my pad. It instantly gave way, throwing off my balance slightly. The inside was hollow though, and as the log fell apart, dozens of rats spilled out from the opening. I stumbled back immediately, falling as I tried to get away. The rats sped by, squealing and screeching, and I felt their pelts rapidly rush by, brushing against me.

I got up as soon as they were gone and blinked at the log, not even bothering with the dust now in my pelt. The forest was quiet however, and as I looked over, there was nothing behind the log. Was this supposed to be my reward? Rats?

"I hate rats-" It dawned on me. "You lied to me!" I felt my body tense, but the energy was soon lost and my body fell ever so slightly, though I did not lose my tone or feeling. No response. "You lied..."

Why would he do that? Did he take joy in seeing me suffer, was it some kind of sick joke? Well, if it was... he had done a pretty good job of ruining my mood. I leapt easily over the now destroyed log, feeling impassive due to my previous experience; I continued walking, with no point or true destination. Until _he_ spoke up again...

_'Did you really think there would be anything special for you here? Just think of all those rats, they are dirty, disease-ridden creatures- And just like everything else in life, they will eventually die and cease to exist...'_

The voice faded away, and as I looked down, a new line of stones lay at my paws; I was now standing beside the river again. I knew what to do, just as I had last time I pulled one stone away at random, not bothering to look. It felt into the river with a small plop and was swept away by the muddy current. A dull, clouded screeching and a horrible rip resonated in my ears and in the back of my mind.

* * *

My eyes snapped open.

I fell a bit at first, staggering forward against something hard; I soon realized my paws were wet and I was standing in water, in a very dark place. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, thumping loudly in my ears as I leaned against the wall for balance, breathing heavily.

Horrified, I smelled the sharp tang of blood, and looked down at my own fur to see it thick with the warm, dark liquid. A scream left my parted jaws, and it echoed around me along with the sound of dripping water as I tried to get a hold of myself. Staggering away from the wall, shaking on my paws, I attempted to catch my breath.

That treacherous, lying murderer! He killed me! I opened my heart to him and he tore out my throat! He would pay for this. I swore it at that very moment... But this meant that cat from my dreams was right, I was immortal.

The water rose up to my paws, and a foul stench hung in the air in this place; I was in some sort of tunnel, which I soon realized was the sewer. A few bits of light came in from here and there from the potholes and grates above, offering a bit of light in the morbid darkness.

I jumped instinctively as a scream resonated in the tunnels, and I could hear the sound of sloshing further down the darkness ahead of me. A fire burned within my chest, and a cold iciness had begun to spread through my veins. It was time I found out just how mortal X was.

The screams continued down the way. I looked to find a passage behind me, only to find that I had been slumped against a dead end. Moving forward quietly through the water, I tried to make as little noise as possible in fear of what might be lurking in the shadows. As I moved in, my eyes quickly began to adjust to the darkness and what I saw made me stop in my tracks.

"Stars..."

Leaning against the walls and inside the small alcoves of the sewer were bodies of cats. Bodies set up in different poses. It was horrifying, and the smell, overwhelming. X had lined all of his victims up and kept them down there where he knew they wouldn't be found. He was sick, sick in the head. And he was going to pay...

The screaming was loud, it was a she-cat for sure; she sounded absolutely terrified, shrieking for her life. The noise seemed to be coming from all around me, from every single tunnel. This place was like a maze. The bodies seemed to be everywhere I looked, and I was horrified by the sheer number of them. There must have been over a dozen... and he had planned to set me up as well.

My first choice was a dark tunnel to the left, where I thought the sound might be coming from. A drop of water stuck me on the head as I walked down the corridor, cold and sharp, but I didn't pay it any mind. My body was tense, and my feeling cold. I would find him, and when I did I...

That's when I stopped, seeing a tabby poised against the wall in one of the alcoves. My heart dropped in my chest at the sight.

It was Clara...

But that was impossible, I had spoke to her just the other night, tried to stop her from jumping. And yet here she was, slumped up against the wall, looking like she had been dead for a whole lot longer than that... My eyes wandered over her corpse, and slowly I pulled her down so that she was fixed in a more peaceful position.

It made me wonder, had she really ever been there at all? Or... Was she already dead?

"I'm so sorry, Clara..."

I hoped that she would at least be able to find her peace in death. This way was another dead end, but the pothole above was wide open, revealing the night sky. I could've left at that moment, but the screams were continuing on in the tunnels. I wasn't finished here just yet.

Discretion was no longer an option. I rushed back through the corridor and toward the cross-section where I had taken my first left. Only this time I went forward, then right. My paws splashed noisily in the filthy water, but the screams drowned out my noise. I was going by another opening when something caught my eye and I stopped, hurrying back to peer down the passage.

A large square area was up ahead, closed off on all sides by walls except one, a grate from above let in the light, revealing the figures beneath.

"Scream! Scream all you want you little brat! Louder, louder I said!"

I watched in horror as X, easily recognizable in the light, slammed a young she-cat into the hard, concrete wall. The poor cat was in hysterics, screaming and sobbing as she tried to get away, only to be pulled back through the water and struck violently by X's claws.

I hurried down the tunnel, increasing my pace with every carefully placed step. X was distracted, if I was quiet, I could surprise attack him from behind.

"Isn't it just the loveliest of sounds?! Your breed has a particular voice, so unique." he crooned, shoving her face first into the water. She struggled, splashing and writhing around beneath the much larger tom. He released her, and she came up with a large gasp, coughing violently while struggling for air. X slashed her across the side with glimmering, white claws, causing her to collapse and shrink back against the wall.

"Unlike you, I appreciate the uniqueness of beauty! Your body will make an excellent addition to my collection! Where it will always be appreciated by cats like me!"

That fool wasn't even paying attention. Anyone could have snuck up from behind; then again, he thought I was dead and no one knew about this place. A mistake that just might be the last one he ever made, the biggest one of his entire life- That arrogant rat!

I slowly crept into the room, approaching the tom's sleep black form from behind. I poised one paw in preparation, readying my claws.

"You've offended me..."

Leaving no time to waste I leapt forward and moved both my claws toward X's neck, pulling across his throat from both sides. I could feel the blood on my claws and released the tom. His body swayed for a moment, but soon collapsed into the water, turning it red with blood. I stepped over his body and toward the still screaming she-cat, helping her up gently. Her breathing began to calm as she turned to face me, and I met her blue eyes.

I had just saved this she-cat's life, so why did I still feel so...angry?

Tears were streaming from her crystalline eyes as she sniffed. "Thank you..." she managed, "Thank you so much...he...he would've killed me...like the others..." She took a moment to let out a small sob, "That monster... you gave him what he deserved." The she-cat looked past me to X's body, now lying face first in the water of the sewer.

" Who are you?"

"Nobody important. Now get out of here, find someplace safe..."

I was going home.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE  
I uploaded another speedpaint if you're interested. I messed up on the jaw, and accidently overwrote my file so I'm not too happy with how it turned out, but I digress.**

**Lost**

**P.S Sorry I haven't been as active with my Legacy updates, the next one I upload will be for that story. Its just at a slower part, so its less interesting to write.**


	7. Chapter 7

From that point on, I realized what that cat had done to me. It wasn't a dream at all, it was real. I was immortal. That was also the day that I had to face a cruel reminder: no one could be trusted. The world is dark, and cold, and cruel; and other cats will hurt you, sometimes for no reason at all. Cats like X... they're sick. My purpose had been shown to me, I had nothing else now.

Sometimes I would see the cat in my dreams-nightmares- or hear his voice in my mind. It took everything I had to convince myself that I wasn't crazy, I couldn't be. Not after I returned to life after dying, _twice_. I definitely needed to be more careful. Then again, I guess it never really mattered much. He told me what to do, and I did it. I don't know why it was necessary, but it's not any of my business; I needed to do this, or I'd never be able to rest in peace.

He would lead me to the targets, subtle signs here and there; and though it was never explicitly shown, I just knew. A part of me is glad though, because they'll never be able to hurt anybody ever again.

I didn't find anything to eat that day, going out was actually rather pointless. Another cat appeared to have discovered my usual spot, and any and all food the humans might've left there was gone. I had the pleasure of getting a bottle thrown at me as well, luckily the stupid human missed and continued on it's sway, mumbling and falling all over the place. Every single day was a struggle, sometimes I didn't even know why I tried.

It was getting late and a storm was coming, and because I had such a bad day, I did what any normal cat would do: I went home. Only this time, the rooftops were my path of choice; no dogs, or humans in sight, the rain clouds were still pretty ominous though. Thankfully I was able to make it home before it started to really pour.

Squeezing through the window, I entered my home; and despite the storm outside, it was actually rather light. I had some food buried in the corner, and it looked like that's what I would be eating. Fantastic. Old dusty human garbage is my favorite after all.

I had just begun to uncover my store when a large shuffling sound caught my attention, nearly making me jump out of my fur. Instinctively I stood taller and faced my would-be attacker, ready to defend myself from whatever or whomever had chosen to invade my home.

To my surprise, it was a she-cat, the likes of which I had never seen before. Her fur was drenched from the rain, but after catching her balance from slipping through the window, she shook it off easily, scattering drops onto the dirt _and _into my pelt.

"Hello!" she said, immediately taking notice of my presence, though she didn't seem to realize my apprehension- If she did, it didn't look like she cared much. Who just comes barging in to other cats' dens anyway?

She had a simple tabby pelt, light brown in color, but the tips of her paws and her belly were white, and that white also extended onto her chin and face a bit. The first thing that I noticed, however, was the pink band around her neck.

"...Who are you, exactly?" I asked.

The she-cat shook her pelt off again, although less obnoxiously than before, but when she had finished, she sat down and answered my question. Well, sort of.

"Right, you probably wouldn't remember me..." She meowed, easily settling down now that she was out of the storm. "My name's Bailey, we met a couple days ago, you were passed out at the time. How are you feeling? You look a whole lot better. I know it can be hard to find food, and sometimes even the worst of things can look appealing, but you probably had a bit too much mind you."

"Roxanne..." At first I had no idea what she was talking about; I had had a long, tiring day and now a strange visitor had suddenly appeared? It took a minute, but slowly the pieces in my head began to click into place."You..." Somehow I had a feeling this cat would've turned up sooner or later, but with everything going on, I had forgotten all about it.

"Yep, its me. The dumb she-cat who had to go and screw everything up." she meowed, expression suddenly becoming a bit more serious after she let out a small breath. "Look, I understand if you're mad at me, or blame for calling for help and saving your life- But I had other reasons for it too ya know. Its important...a personal thing. That's why I had been looking for you actually, I wanted to talk to you."

Everything she said sounded sincere, but I still didn't really know what this she-cat was doing, or why she had done what she did. If it wasn't for her, I might've died that day. I was a bit angry...but I was also confused.

"What? Why would you want to talk to me? It doesn't make any sense."

Outside, the rain continued to fall, oblivious to our conversation. This she-cat, Bailey, had been following me that day, but why? How could she possibly have known me? I didn't talk to anybody, I didn't associate with any other cats; its not like I had a reputation.

Bailey only smiled with understanding, not an overly friendly smile or a fake one; it seemed natural, albeit a bit awkward.

"I'm not from around here." she started, eyes traveling over my den. "I've been trying to find a place to stay you see, and I was looking for one when I saw you leave this building one day. At first I thought it was uninhabited, but after seeing you I knew I couldn't just barge in. I've been wanting to talk to you about it; actually, I'd _really_ like a place to stay..."

That certainly hadn't been what I was expecting at all. Why here? Surely there were plenty of other places in the city- Much nicer ones I might add.

"But-"

"You've got the room," she said suddenly, "And I can get my own food. Won't that work for the both of us? I'm very neat, and I'm quiet as a mouse. I swear I won't bother you- I can catch my own prey and take care of myself." Her pelt was still damp from the rain.

"I understand what you're feeling, and why you felt like you needed to do what you did. You stray from other cats, you like your loneliness, I get it. But I won't get in the way, I promise. You won't even know I'm here." She meowed positively, though it almost looked like there was a pleading look in her eyes. "...What do you think?"

I could see from the way her wet fur stuck to her bones that she was thin, and that her body was shivering ever so slightly. It made me wonder how long she had been out in the rain. It didn't seem like a bad idea, but how did I know I could trust her, or tell that she wasn't lying? I'm not heartless though. It didn't sound like a bad plan. If anything did happened, I could take care of it...

"Well...I guess if you can find your own food..." I murmured, suddenly thinking on how we would even make this new arrangement work. We would have to separate our distinct areas, and figure out where we'd each keep our food...

A part of me didn't even know why I was agreeing to this. Of course I say that, but I always knew. Loneliness works in strange ways, I suppose. I just never expected any cat to show up at my home of all places, much less willingly...

"Great!" Bailey meowed. She stood up and walked deeper inside, looking around the small square-shaped area as she pleased. I narrowed my eyes, still not completely trusting of the newcomer when a sudden thought dawned on me.

"You told those other cats you were my daughter...You're a little liar, aren't you?" I accused, flattening my ears back viciously. "How can I trust you? How should I know you won't tear out my throat when I'm asleep at night?"

"Great stars, what's wrong with you?!" Bailey exclaimed, turning to look at me with a sort of strange disbelief. "Tear out your throat? Are you always so suspicious of everybody? If I wanted to do that, I wouldn't have saved your life, now would I? I already told you, I'm not from around here, I didn't want other cats to know that; they might try to take advantage of it or single me out or something. It seemed like the easiest thing to say at the time."

She did have a point.

I relaxed a bit, choosing to look vehemently at the four walls surrounding us. "This building is pretty bad you know." I muttered.

"I'm not fussy. It shouldn't be long, about a moon maybe. Anything is better than what I have at the moment." Said Bailey, licking one of her rain soaked paws.

She was awfully nonchalant about everything. "Which is?"

"I slept in a dumpster last night." Bailey wrinkled up her nose in disgust at the thought, giving a small shudder. "It smelled awful. And there was this creepy old tomcat there who liked to talk to the rats; you should see him." she mused.

Pass.

My eyes were drawn to the pink band strapped around her neck. The only cats you saw with collars were housepets; weren't they supposed to stay in their houses? "Why not go find a home with the humans? A she-cat like you would probably get taken in easily." More like, you can always find another home. She clearly had some interaction with the humans before.

Bailey shrugged, pausing in her cleaning. "Nah. I _hate _being locked indoors, the people just don't get it. I've already had enough time with them, anything else is better."

I twitched my whiskers at that statement. "Even stinky old dumpsters? With...rats...and crazy weirdos?"

"Jimmy? Oh no, he's cool. He's alright." She smiled. "And he kept the rats away."

To that I had nothing to say. I wasn't particularly interested in her life in the dumpster. There were so many more questions that needed to be answered. "How did you even find me that day?"

She finally set her paw down and looked at me for a second before breathing out a bit with resignation. "Okay. I'll tell you, but you're not gonna like the answer. I had been tracking you- I'm not some sort of stalker, I swear. I just don't know my way around here that well. My father taught me everything he knows about tracking, he's an expert you know, one of the best hunters from where I come from. I followed you after you left your home and when I saw you going toward the rat poison, well, you could say I had a hunch.."

"A hunch...Great."

Bailey rolled her eyes a bit, they were green in color. Not like anything you'd see in the city, seasons don't really exist in a land of stone, but we do get the cold of winter. Lucky us.

"I had a hunch that something bad was about to happen. And I was right, wasn't I?" she meowed pointedly, flicking her tail- which I noticed also had a white tip.

What was up with this cat?

"Why do you want to stay here so badly?" I meowed bitterly, honestly becoming a bit frustrated with the she-cat, though this was mainly due to my own confusion. "Let's be honest, this place is falling apart. Its cold, its dark, its a bit moldy. This is the old, run down part of the city where nothing happens and finding food is impossible. It takes forever to get to the center of the city and its too dangerous to take the main road. Besides, around here I'm known as the mean, wicked, foul-tempered, crazy old she-cat- They'd throw me to the dogs if they could. I'm not exactly great company for a young she-cat like yourself" With that statement I stood firmly holding my ground, knowing that none of it could be refuted.

"Who's 'they'?" Bailey asked, tilting her head ever so slightly.

"Cats. Just...cats."

She frowned. "Yeah, well I don't care about 'cats'." She shook her pelt again, and scratched herself briefly before looking back up a bit humbly. "I could use a good cleaning, you can probably smell the rain on me."

"I'm sure you'll change your mind when you look around..."

Bailey quickly rose to her paws, smiling. "I'd love to! And I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think." She added, giving me a small look over her shoulder as she walked past and looked at the area I had set up. A few piles of stuff here and there located beneath one of the tiny windows above; it was an area I didn't really use anymore...

"The window is cracked and it lets in all the cold." I told her.

"Its alright, I like fresh air."

"There's trash lying around everywhere."

"I'll neaten things up." She meowed, crouching down to get a better look at some of the objects.

"Its got a weird smell."

"My allergies hardly let me smell anything anymore."

I sighed, feeling my body deflate a bit in defeat. "Fine. I give up."

Bailey grinned and stood back up, walking back to me with her tail held high in the air. "This area is perfect!"

"Really?" I asked a bit mutedly, honestly surprised. "What about all this...junk?"

"I'll move some stuff to the side if that's okay with you, but I can use some of it. All I really need is a nice nest to sleep in and a roof over my head to shield me from the rain." Bailey nodded a bit to herself and started rustling around in the assortment of old human objects that had piled up against the wall. I eyed her carefully for a moment, trying to figure her out.

"You mentioned some...personal reasons for staying here?" I said casually, watching as Bailey moved. Not only was it good to fill the awkward silence that was building, but I was curious. If she was going to be staying here, then it was my business to know why.

Bailey stopped in her movements to look at me blankly for a moment before shrugging a bit. "Yeah. It's a long story though, don't want to bore you with all that personal crap." She was about to return to moving things around when I spoke up again.

"Well, can you at least give me the short version?"

Bailey was silent for a short moment but turned around again. "...Yeah, okay. I'm looking for someone. I don't really know them personally, but they're...a friend of a friend. I never actually met this cat, so I don't really have any idea what they look like." She turned her head suddenly to look at a small pile of glass objects and shinier junk."You know this really is a nice spot! I like these bottles over here, they're very colorful. I think I saw the sky turn these colors once, can't really remember the exact ones though... What was I talking about? Oh, right, I don't know what they look like. But I'm a really good tracker, and I know how to gather information; I managed to track them down. From what I hear, he lives in this part of the city. What I don't know is where, or in what block. I just have to explore each one and figure it out, it shouldn't be too hard." It sounded like she didn't really believe her own words. The city was huge after all.

"It sounds like you've come an awful long way, what do you want from this cat?" It had to be something pretty important. No cat willingly comes into the city because they just want to, and I'm a suspicious cat by nature.

"I just want to talk to them." she meowed. Her eyes suddenly looked a bit less light. "They've done something...really bad, something horrible. I just need to talk to him, get some sort of closure. Y'know?"

"Just talk? Really?" I mused, giving the she-cat a doubtful look. She noticed of course, but she acted as if she hadn't.

"Yep. I want to see him face to face. That's it."

"You're not in some kind of trouble are you?" More trouble was the last thing I needed. A cat gets enough trouble from living in this concrete forest, I didn't need to get involved with any more bad cats.

"Do I really look like some sort of killer to you, Roxanne?" Bailey asked, as if the answer was an obvious one.

"I don't know. What do killers look like anyway?" Was there ever any real definition to them? No...

"Oh you know." She grinned. "Old, gangly, with a nice long scar across the face."

A brief chuckle escaped my jaws, and I shrugged. "I guess. I'm no expert on killers- Not yet anyway... So, you're a housepet?"

Bailey closed her eyes for a moment, letting out a small sigh of exasperation. "Please don't say that word ever again. Yeah, I grew up with humans, but that doesn't mean I'm some sort of lazy furball who lies around all the time. It's not like it was a choice, it was just the world I was born into. Don't start thinking I'm some sort of cat who had an easy life and doesn't give a care in the world for anyone else."

"Okay." I drawled, there was no need to get snippy."Clearly a sensitive subject for you."

Bailey shook her head a bit and sat down. "You know, just because cats are born into a certain area of life, others always seem to judge their character on that. That if a cat is a housecat-they're ignorant or stupid, you can't generalize like that. Its more complicated..."

I was right about the housecat thing; the question was, why was she here now? Well, I knew _why_, but it was still a bit odd. "So, what about your family? Are they okay with you being out here?"

"Oh, the humans don't mind; they let us in and out all the time. I lived with my mom and brother too- Well, until recently that is." She flicked her striped tail toward the walls around us.

I suddenly felt a bit concerned; what if they were worried about her? Did she even tell them where she was going? A part of me highly doubted it. "Maybe you should at least go back and tell them, so they know you have a place to stay."

"Yes! This is a perfect spot for me to set up a nest." Bailey exclaimed, having found her way back by the pile, which was now mostly gone; a new space lay in its wake. "Erm... Yeah, sure. That'll be okay I guess. You know, you've been asking me all these questions and I haven't even been able to ask how you're feeling. I mean, you just went through a terrible experience; you barely even survived. I know it's probably a bit out of line for me to ask you this, but... I'm really curious as to why you tried to kill yourself." "What made you do that? What did you feel?"

I said nothing for a long moment, it wasn't a question I had been expecting.

"Long story. Wouldn't want to bore you with all that personal crap."

Bailey chuckled lightly a bit and smiled kindly. "Right back at me I guess. I did give you a short version though." she meowed, giving me another pointed look.

"True, but somehow I feel like you left out a few important details."

"Just some of them." She shrugged. "Anyway, I suppose your story isn't really one that can be shortened. Still, if you ever feel like talking about it sometime, I'd be more than happy to listen."

"I'll keep that in mind, Bailey."

With our conversation at an end, and Bailey's area all cleared out, I moved back to the center where I had previously left my dinner. I could hear Bailey padding after me; I guess sharing wouldn't hurt for one day...

"Everything looks great!" Bailey meowed happily, stopping as she I turned. So what do you say, Roxanne?"

I turned back to look at her and ask if she wanted anything.

Words cannot explain the sheer horror that gripped me at that moment. My heart stopped completely, and a deep chill rapidly shot through my body and up my spine, leaving my legs feeling weak and shaky. Any words I might've spoken died in my throat. He was there.

Sitting right behind her. That hideous shape, the familiar cold chill. Slowly, he rose to his paws and moved forward so that his face was just beside her own, whispering something in her ear. All the while Bailey never ceased in talking, until she saw my face.

"I hope you don't change your mind about this-...Roxanne?"

I stepped back, paws shaking. And just like that, he was gone. Vanished, as if I had never even seen him at all.

"What happened?" Bailey meowed, trying to meet my eyes. "Are you alright?" She began to pad forward, face knit in confusion.

"Go away! You have to go away right now! Get out of here!" I shouted abruptly.

Bailey blinked and took a step back at my outburst, looking confused. "But- why? What's wrong?"

"You're not safe here. You need to leave right now." I growled. She couldn't stay, not now.

"Please," Bailey pleaded, "I'd really like to stay. Its raining, and I don't have anywhere else to go. Don't throw me out now." Her eyes grew wide, showering both sorrow and desperation. It hurt to look at her, but I grit my teeth and continued on.

"Well you can't stay! You can't! If you don't leave, something terrible is going to happen to you!" She had yet to move, why hadn't she moved?! My nerves were running on end, I shrunk a bit, suddenly losing most of my previous energy. Suddenly feeling tired. "Please, just leave me alone..."

I clenched my eyes shut and held in my claws, unable to hold back this rampant wave of emotion. It was all too much. Everything was too much. "I was perfectly happy before you came. I have my home...I have...I..."

Nothing.

"- Just stay away from me!"

"What?" She didn't look scared, or angry. Just confused, unable to understand why I was suddenly rejecting her. How could she?! How dare she- "Are you deaf?! Was I not clear enough?! This isn't a good place for you-"

"Where am I gonna go?" she suddenly shouted, " Its dark, and the rain is still pouring..."

"I don't care where you go! You can go back to your stupid housefolk for all I care! Anywhere! Just not here..." I muttered that last bit beneath my breath, feeling the anger growing in my body. "I knew you would be one of them...I knew it." I was angry, because I didn't want to admit how stupid I was. Did I really think that anyone would want to spend their time with me? That maybe someone actually cared.

"What on earth are you talking about?" she meowed, shaking her head slightly. "Look, just try to relax, everything is going to be okay..."

"But why you?" I shouted, holding back my emotions as best as I could- Which wasn't much honestly, my voice was shaking just as my paws were. "Why would you do this to me?... You have no reason!"

"Just calm down, I'm not going to do anything to you, okay? I just want a place to stay, nothing else. I promise. Stars, I even swear." she padded forward, catching my attention once more. I looked up from the ground. "I won't cause you any trouble. Just take a deep breath and try to explain everything to me, I'm a little confused."

I stood up straighter as I looked into her eyes, seeing nothing hidden beneath them. For a moment I felt hopeful again, but then it suddenly dawned on me.

"Then...maybe- Oh no..." I backed away from her, trying to look away from those bright, green eyes; full of innocence. "No...no..."

Bailey took another step, and that's when my gaze snapped up again; this time I held it between us, trying to hold back this newfound feeling of pity and despair.

"You're going to die..."

Bailey froze, and a heavy silence took over the den, even with the rain falling outside. She stood there for a moment, saying nothing.

"I know."

It was my turn to stop now.

I wondered what she was talking about.

How could she-

"Yeah... I know." She must have seen my surprise. Bailey looked up and met my eyes with her own, which only looked jaded, albeit a bit surprised, though she did a good job of keeping up the nonchalance that always seemed to be around her. "But how did you know? Are you some sort of mind reader or psychic, or...is it just that obvious?"

"What do you mean? I..I don't know how you're going to die, but..." I stopped, not knowing how I could possibly describe what I had seen without sounding crazy. There was no point in trying. "...Call it a hunch?"

She chuckled shortly in a hushed tone, shrugging. "A hunch. That's cool. Well I do, I know exactly how. Its already started actually... Other cats have their own words for it, but you probably know it as Ephemioma..."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**I'm slow. Also somewhat rushed because I have to go away for a week. Eh.**

**Lost**


	8. Chapter 8

I let her stay.

It wasn't until the next morning that we spoke again. I had only wanted to see how she was settling in, which she had done quite fast by the way, her entire nest was completely set up, aligned up with all sorts of strange human knick knacks. It was...interesting, to say the least.

"You have a strange taste in decoration." I muttered dryly, seeing the newly arranged area for the first time. "Where did you find all this?"

"Like it?" Bailey meowed. She rolled over to face me and rose to her paws so we were on the same level. Outside, it was still raining. "Found it all myself, mostly from all the rooms above us. You don't mind do you? It reminds me of home."

My eyes traveled over the small square-shaped nest lined with objects; there were a few pillows on top of the warm softwood- you could find those all over the place usually- and a bunch of other items that I didn't know the names of. "It's your nest, you can do what you like with it. But I definitely prefer this over lining it with smelly garbage."

Bailey seemed content with my answer, and she appeared to be all settled in and comfortable as well. I guessed it was my time to leave.

"So Roxanne," Bailey continued, "I happen to have caught a nice juicy _mouse_, that's right you heard me, _mouse_, and I can't think of anything better to do than share it. Honestly I was going to give it to James-"

I blinked.

"Jimmy," she added as an afterthought.

Right, the crazy tom in the garbage bin.

"But I forgot all about it. I went and got it while you were asleep. So...shall we have a little snack then, perhaps we can get to know each other more. I mean, I know I promised not to get in your way, but if we're going to be living together- I mean, I guess you don't have to if you don't feel like it. But since we're going to be here for a while, I thought it won't hurt to talk to each other, right?"

"...Yeah, I guess that'd be all right." I agreed warily.

Bailey's ears perked up and a pleased smile appeared on her face, "Great! I'll get the mouse, we can meet up on that balcony up there. That seems like a good spot."

I nodded briefly, watching as she went to go through her things. It probably would've been best if I went to wait for her up there. I knew what balcony she was talking about, it was really the only one I could go on when it rained because it had a cover. When I wasn't on the roof, it was usually my spot of choice.

"Oh, and Roxy, I should probably tell you this before we start," she turned back to look at me with one green eye. "I promise I won't tear out your throat while your sleep." The side of her jaw cracked into a small smile, and her eyes twinkled lightly despite the darkness, bright with mischief.

"VERY funny, Bailey." I returned, snorting easily as I rolled my eyes. So the kid had jokes.

"No, no, I mean it!" She said again, turning to stand.

I smirked slightly in response; trying to tease me, huh? "That's fine, but just so you know," I returned turned around and headed toward the broken window, looking back at her with my own humor, "I _always_ sleep with my eyes open."

* * *

Together we made our way up the numerous floors of the old building, until we finally landed onto one of the place's many empty balconies. The twoleg nests had long since been abandoned, no one stayed here anymore. Our was covered, so the rain wouldn't fall on us, in fact, it was really the only covered one. We were up high now, on one of the highest levels of the place, almost to the roof, but not quite. I actually went up there a lot by myself, its where I did all of my thinking... Or if I didn't have anything to do, I would just...sit.

A few lights were scattered about the blocks below, but not much. The most light came from the interior of the city, but it was off a ways; over here there wasn't much to look at. Everything was worn down, empty, dirty, not another cat or human in sight- You'd maybe see one or two, but not when it was raining.

I always hated the rain.

Bailey and I split the mouse without talking and afterwards we just sat there, relaxing, watching. Bailey sat on the edge with her tail curled around her paws, just covering up their white tips. I opted to stay in the more covered area, not wanting to get wet from the rain.

I watched her for a moment, noting how relaxed she looked. I probably never looked like that. Not a day in my life even, and if there was, well, I sure couldn't remember a time like that.

Being invasive wasn't really my thing, but I figured it would come up at some point, besides, she wanted to talk. "So," I croaked slowly, "The big 'E'...want to talk about it?" I wasn't exactly sure how to talk to someone about such a subject, but it seemed like something that needed to be addressed.

It was a well-known condition, despite being as rare as it is. So-called because it shortens the life span of those unlucky enough to have it. It isn't something that can be caught or transferred; no cat knows exactly why, but some cats are just born with it. Its actually quite sad... The entire body begins to slow down, and then it just...stops.

"I put you in a difficult position, I know. And I'm sorry. Its just that I was really desperate to find a place to stay, I hope you can understand." Bailey meowed, looking away guiltily for a moment. "This is the last and most important thing I have to do...before my time is up."

"Its fine." I assured her, shuffling my paws a bit after a moment. "You seem alright. Its just-" I sighed. "I find it hard to trust cats these days. Maybe its time I opened my eyes to see that others have problems too. Some, like you, even bigger than mine. What kind exactly is it... If you don't mind my asking?"

Bailey didn't appear to be bothered by the question, not even a little. When she spoke he acted just as happy and normal as she always was, as if we were having a casual conversation about the weather, or food, or something or other.

"Kidney, her name is Ephemioma."

"Her?"

"Yup." Bailey confirmed. "They're all female the way I imagine it, what with names like Ephemioma, Leukemia, Lymphoma, Carcinoma... Each a goddess of death, ruthless and beautiful."

"You might be right about that, Bailey." I concurred, well aware of each of those, and also a bit intrigued by her ever-growing quirkiness."I'm familiar with Ephemioma... and she's a real piece of work."

"Yeah; and yet she gets to be the go-getter while I'm left sitting on the sidelines. Talk about unfair, right?" Bailey scoffed a bit and absentmindedly looked out onto the city, watching the rain fall.

An ephemeral life... "How long?" I asked quietly.

"A year, I think. But that was six moons ago so...yeah, not very long." Bailey answered, turning back to look me in the eye.

"Is there anything-"

"No. They've tried." she continued abruptly. "The humans tried everything and nothing worked."

A short silence came over the balcony, letting no sound in but the tapping of the rain.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. So am I." A moment later, she changed the subject. "Do you want to talk about something else?"

"So this cat you're looking for, how are you planning on finding him?" This quest, if you wanted to call it that, seemed really important to her. The city was a big place, a lot bigger than the outer human suburbs, it would take a lot more than six months to search each and every little cranny.

"I don't know yet. A bit of undercover, sneaky-type work perhaps? It shouldn't be that hard, from the way I see it, the cats here have pretty much arranged themselves into blocks right? I know for sure he's in this city, and that his gang is too." I didn't comment on that one. Gangs really weren't the types of cats you wanted to get involved with, I and any other smart cat avoided them. "I was kind of hoping you could give me a hand actually... You've lived in this city a long time right? You must know a lot about the different cats and gangs living here. What about neighbors, you know some of the cats living around here don't you?"

Her question caught me off guard a bit, other cats living around this area never really came to mind. I hardly saw them anyway. "Not many. I never really cared about them. Besides, they've changed over the years too; most cats don't stay in one place long. Plus you've probably also figured out by now that cats around here don't just welcome any and all newcomers and bring them some fresh kill to share or something." I sighed at the expression on her face. "You see a blank face, you give them a blank stare as you pass them across the street, and you forget about them a minute later." I shrugged tiredly.

"That bad, huh?"

I shifted a bit where I sat, trying to come up with something that was even a bit useful. Something I did know. "Well, there's a tom who lives around here, sometimes you'll see him in the alley outside. He comes around every so often to shout in my face. He's a nasty piece of work, but I really don't think he's the cat you're looking for."

"What does he do?"

"I don't know. I suppose he's just trying to survive like the rest of us, real territorial that one. He keeps insisting that the alley belongs to him, but I've been here far longer, that alley is the only way to get in- as you know." Honestly, he was nothing more than a minor pain. Somehow he deluded himself into thinking he owns a part of this trashy city.

"I can't imagine my cat would be the antisocial type... Okay, that's good. That narrows it down some." Bailey said nodding confidently. "I think we should focus on the "gangs" around here, I know for sure he has to be in one of them. How many are there?"

"Six, I think. Northern, Southside, Eastern,Westborder, Central, and the Outsiders- they're actually a bit farther out than we are. A lot of cats have formed their own small groups as well, but they're not as big or organized as any of the gangs. They're not really the type of cats you want to mess around with..." I didn't like the idea of Bailey going out to poke around their territories, they wouldn't like that. They were dangerous.

"You know what, its fine. We can talk about that another night, I have plenty of time, there's no need to rush this. Maybe tomorrow we could make a plan together, yeah? You could tell me more about the layout of the city."

It actually didn't sound like a bad idea. It would give me something to do and something to think about. Not to mention it made me feel like I had a sort of purpose, no matter how small it might be, someone needed me for once. Someone who I could help, not someone like him.

"Sounds good to me, Bailey." I smiled a bit and twitched my ears. It was only then that I noticed... "Oh, its not raining anymore." The noise had stopped and the world had gone quiet, glistening under the streetlights. In some places, you could see the vapor from the rain still, no doubt signaling the approach of an after rain fog, they were pretty common around these parts.

"Well, I don't mind the rain. Sometimes I even like it; what I don't like is the fog that comes after. Now _that_ I'm actually scared of." Bailey ruffled her fur as if she had gotten a chill. "I got lost in the fog, when I was just a kit." she explained. "I remember I just sat under some stairs crying, thinking some monster would appear and drag me away."

"But now that you're a big she-cat, and you know that there are no monsters." I continued for her. Feeling a bit amused by the topic of our conversation.

"Yeah? How do you know?" Bailey suddenly asked, challenging me with a small look. Her words made my mood fall, and I was reminded. I shrugged, suddenly feeling dull as I thought of the world we lived in.

"The only monsters are us. Murderers, killers, thieves ...they're the real beasts. So far gone that they're no longer capable of feeling any compassion or guilt. They're the ones we should really be afraid of." I had caught Bailey's full attention now as she listened, and I looked out upon the city, watching the growing fog. "But whether they're lurking in the woods, or in the fog, or in the dark corner of an alley, its all irrelevant. You can't predict what's going to happen. You can't do anything to stop it." I stood up now, feeling tired of sitting, feeling tired of myself, feeling tired of the world. The truth is that bad things happen and you can't stop them. That's why you can never allow yourself to be too happy, or else when that bad thing suddenly does happen and intervenes on your happiness, and you fall, it'll only hurt more. "There's only one way... you turn into a beast yourself. And like them, you show no mercy." I finished coldly, turning away from Bailey to look into the open door of the old human nest.

"Where did that come from?"

My tail lashed slightly behind me, tone still low from the thought. "I just don't like murderers." I replied darkly. "They're nothing but... scum." Turning back to face Bailey, I figured now would be a good time to change the subject. "You mentioned a brother, tell me about him."

"Yeah, okay..." Bailey started. "His name's Ricky. He's dead."

"Oh..."

"Roxy, are you sure you want to hear about my miserable life? I don't want to bring you down... Its not really a happy story." For someone who usually looked so confident and sure of herself, Bailey looked pretty serious, in a somber kind of way.

"And I'm not really a happy story kind of cat, as I'm sure you've noticed by now."

"I guess so." Bailey admitted. She nodded a bit in acceptance and put one paw over the other. "Anyway, I suppose I would've had to tell you sooner or later. After all, he's the main reason I'm here. I just don't know where to start."

"I'm sure you two must've gotten into all sorts of trouble when you were kits." I stated, hoping that might spark something in the tabby.

"We knew each other, for like, forever. We weren't actually blood related, but we grew up as siblings. Its funny how well we clicked, it was liked we really were meant to be related. We were best friends. We thought that one day we might find our own home outside of the human's household, and be happy. I didn't have many friends, partly because I didn't go out as often, wasn't allowed to later on either. _He _liked to sneak out." Bailey smiled faintly. " That punk." she muttered quietly in a bittersweet tone. "But it was fine that I didn't have a lot of friends because I had Ricky, I didn't need anyone else." Bailey paused to meet my eyes, looking a bit confident once more. "You know, if there's anything I'm really grateful for in my life, its got to be being able to have him as part of my family, a happy family. Some cats go a lifetime without knowing how that feels. I guess I've been lucky." Her voice faded a bit. "But all luck has to run out sometime, doesn't it?"

I frowned a bit, but she was right. Besides, like she had said, this didn't sound like or would turn out to have a happy ending. "How did he take the news?" I asked. I can only imagine what it could be like, trying to tell someone that you're going to die, especially someone you care about...

"He thought I was joking at first. He laughed, but then he got really angry... I told him I was serious, but he still didn't believe me. We had a big fight that night, our first big and only fight. It was awful... He tore up some stuff he was so upset, and he left later that night; when he came back the next day, he was different. He begged me to get the humans to take me back, to get them to fix it like they did any other time we got sick, but I didn't really want to go back. I did though, for him, and they did a lot of stuff to me. It didn't help, in fact, it just made me feel sick all the time. I felt trapped in there, in a strange place where nothing that happened to or around me seemed real." "Maybe that's why I didn't see what my disease was doing to him, or that it was destroying him as well. He..changed."

The fog had grown thicker around us, but we could still see much of ourselves and the balcony, it was mainly coming from below. Bailey didn't seem to notice, too wrapped up by her story to notice, or maybe it was her memories.

"He became obsessed with death. It seemed like death was all he ever talked about, even though it was me and not him who was supposed to die." There was really only one question left, but it had to be asked gently.

"How did he die?"

Bailey was looking at me, but it felt as if she were actually looking through me. I was actually a bit surprised she had been willing to share all of this; I mean, I had never been the particularly open type...

"He was so distant the last few days before he...he died. What I didn't know, however, was that he had been going out almost every night, out into the city far beyond our own neighborhood, like he was looking for something. I don't know what, but I don't think he even knew what exactly... But it eventually found him. Or I suppose I should say, _he _found him. You know about the gangs out there; well, accidently, he stumbled upon one, though I don't know which, and met a cat who calls himself the "Eye of Adam". He's like a god to that group... Apparently they had their own unique views on life, and the way that cats should live it. Anyone too weak, or sick, or young, or unable to live it was meant to die, and when the time came, they would kill those cats who no longer had a place, 'freeing' them. Every cat in that gang has had their own close encounter with death; I think cats mostly join to give each other support you know, sometimes it just helps to meet other cats like you, listen to their stories and learn how they cope with their lives. But the Eye of Adam is an advocate of death, he dwells on weakness." Her bright green eyes narrowed suddenly in disgust. "His job is only to give them an idea, to give them a reason to die, and then take care of it himself in the cruelest way possible. Ricky took the bait. Before he knew it, he was completely brainwashed. One day he came up to me and tried to explain his perfect solution to our 'problem', we were both supposed to die together. It was supposed to be a quick and foolproof death, with no chance of us ever being saved. It was really simple... You see, the Eye of Adam and that gang had discovered a special kind of gas that runs beneath the city, a toxic gas that can kill you in less than a minute. I told him he was crazy of course, but he wouldn't give up. He reasoned with me, then he begged me, then he flat out just started screaming at me. Finally he said he would wait for me in a place just on the border of the city." Bailey's eyes fell, and her voice had become strained from talking about the subject. "'Right after sunrise, don't be late.'..." she meowed scratchily, attempting to smile even a bit beneath her whiskers. "Those are the last words he ever said to me. Then he ran off. I cried for hours, thinking I didn't deserve all that from the cat I cared about most in the world. A few times I even tried to persuade myself that he was right and I should do it, but I just couldn't. I eventually fell asleep, didn't plan on it. My head was killing me I was so tired... I woke up the next morning, and I could see the sun rising just outside the window. In a panic, I threw myself out of our nest and ran to the city. I needed to stop him. I needed to get there before it was too late. But right there in our home, before I even left, I already knew it was. When I arrived at the old parking lot, it was already bright. After that day, I've never gone there again... There was gas coming out of an open hole in the ground, the only one, and I knew. I couldn't even go near it, because I would only suffer the same fate..."

"Only down in the sewers?" I added carefully, feeling somewhat curious about this 'gas'. I had never heard of it before in my life, and I had lived in the city for a long time, probably a lot longer than many of those gangs.

"That's where most of the pipes run, but yeah. That's not even the real reason though, the Eye of Adam doesn't want any accidental deaths; the idea is for cats to die willingly and with a clear mind, to embrace it." Bailey finished, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"That's sick."

"It took me three months to finally track him down to this area. Now I'm so close, I can almost smell that creep." she muttered, turning to look out into the city. It seemed like she was done with her story, and I couldn't help feeling sorry for her. I always felt like I had so many problems that I never really bothered to think of any other cat's... To me, I was the only one.

"I'm sorry, I think... I understand now." I meowed gently, stepping forward a ways to sit beside her. "He loved you so much that he couldn't bear the thought of having to live without you, and that cat, the 'Eye of Adam', I'm not surprised you want to find him. Hey, I would too. I'm not sure I should believe that you only want to talk to this cat, but its not really any of my business I guess."

Bailey continued to look out into the city. "Good to know, but I really do just want to talk. I want to face Ricky's killer and tell him what he's done to me." Her last words were said strongly, showing just how determined she was to do this.

"Where exactly does this gas run?" I asked after a moment of looking out into the buildings and lights beyond.

Bailey opened her mouth and stopped for a second."Well... I... I'm not sure if you'd want to know that." she meowed, stumbling slightly over her words.

"I get it. You don't want to tell me because I'm the insane, suicidal maniac, right?" I deadpanned, thought my words held a bit of a musing tone, a tired one.

"No Roxanne, I didn't mean it like that." Bailey retorted, giving me a pointed look before she let out a small breath. "Okay maybe to some extent, but replace 'insane' with 'recovering' and 'maniac' to 'victim'. You've only just come back home. Whatever it was that made you do it, you proved you were capable of going through with it. I haven't known you long enough to tell if you're completely over it now and the last thing want to do is give you stupid ideas, that's what the Eye of Adam does. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you because of me."

"I learned my lesson. Dying isn't for me."

"I really want to believe you Roxanne, but you have to_ promise_ me that you'll never try this method." Bailey returned seriously.

"Alright, I promise that I'll never try this method. Or any other method for that matter. Been there, done that. Didn't enjoy it much. Do you believe me now?"

Bailey looked hesitant for a moment, but she nodded, accepting my response. "Yeah. I think so. Good. I'm glad you said that you know. The gas runs in these small pipes, they go all over the city; the humans have them marked with a little yellow thing, with a black print on it, that's how they know."

Our conversation ended after that, but we were both comfortable with the silence. It was actually kind of nice. I had even considered dozing off, but our peace didn't last long. A loud screeching came from below, the screeching of cats; they sounded like they were going completely wild, afraid.

"What's going on?!" I asked immediately. I got up and went over to the edge beside Bailey, but I couldn't see anything through the fog. Bailey was looking down as well, ears having perked at the first noise of alarm. "Something's wrong Bailey. We've got to check what's going on."

"Whoa-" Bailey meowed suddenly, looking at me as if I was crazy. "I'm really sorry Rox, but there is _no way_ I'm going out in this fog."

"Fine. I'll go by myself." I muttered, albeit a bit coldly. I was used to other cats blowing me off, Bailey looked like she was going to say something, but I didn't give her the time.

It probably wasn't the best idea in the world, but something bad was happening, I could feel it. I had to go down there and check it out, make sure no one was getting hurt. By the time my paws finally reached the sidewalk after traveling down through the building, I realized the fog was a lot thicker than I had thought. I could hardly see two feet in front of me, the entire world just seemed to fade into gray. The fact that it was now suddenly dead quiet was even more unnerving. Keeping my senses up, I padded forward, despite not being able to see much of where I was going. I heard a transporter go past on the street, but that was it. As I continued, I came across a large white transporter sitting on the side of the street, but that was it. Too quiet. I didn't like being out there, it made me feel blind and vulnerable, like I was being watched; which is why I promptly turned to go back to my building when a voice cut through the air. I swear my heart stopped for a second.

"Thick fog, can't see a thing. Someone could be gettin' murdered only two feet away and n't a soul'd notice..." I looked up to see the source of the noise, a mangy looking tabby sitting atop the transporter. His whiskers were completely frazzled, but despite his unkempt appearance, he still looked well fed. "But still, it could be worse. At least its not rainin', eh? Always look on the bright side, they say. And I always do." He spoke slowly, with broken words. I merely stared a him blankly for a moment, keeping up an intimidating glare. "Not the talkative type r'yeh? What's your name kitty?" he asked, hopping down from on top of the transporter so he was now standing across from me.

"Don't be such a scaredy cat sweetheart; you're Roxanne, aren't yeh? A kind tom had described t'me what you look like, and I haff to say, he was spot on." the tom mused, looking me over in a manner that made me particularly uncomfortable, and my eyes narrowed viciously.

"What do you want?" I hissed. I didn't like this tom suddenly appearing out of nowhere, talking to me...

"I'm just here with the owner on a job, he got a call y'see, someone sayin' this place was full a' stray cats." I looked behind him and into the transporter door that had been left open, able to see several empty cages lying in it's midst. "As for me, I heard there's a crazy cat around here makin' life difficult for evr'one." He paused. "A crazy cat called Roxanne, I was told."

That was the last straw for me. With my heart pounding noisily in my chest I immediately turned to flee, but much to my horror, a human suddenly appeared from out of nowhere in the fog, leaning to grab at me. I slipped to avoid it's grasp and tried to make my escape, but something grabbed at my neck and pinned me down. Before I knew it, I was being handled painfully and tossed into a cage. Then the world went black.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up in a strange place with a strange smell and a strange feeling. My mind was hazy, as was my vision, but the stench that hit my nostrils was immediate. It was awful. The haze began to clear and my surroundings became more real, and I realized that I was in some kind of cage, in a dark place.

At first I was confused, but I'm not stupid. I realized what had happened. Its partly the reason why I- and many other cats- avoid humans. If you're not too careful, they'll grab you and take you away; and it would appear that I had found myself in one of the worst places possible to be brought. Animal control. Or the "animal shelter" (Prison).

The distorted sound of raucous barking hit my ears as the buzzing faded, and all noise began to flow in. They sounded distant. I stood up. The only light came from a single little orb hanging loosely in the center of the room. It flickered on and off haphazardly, revealing dark stains on the walls and scattered garbage decorating the room. Cages lined the walls.

"Wakey, wakey..."

A long, dark shadow stretched into the cage, filling in most of the space between the shady lines. It was him again, that tabby from before, sitting on top of a large stack of boxes just to the side of my prison. He was staring at me with a stupid sort of grin, and a disturbing glimmer in his eye. I felt my fur stand on end, but I stood my ground, trying to look as intimidating as possible.

"Who are you?! Let me go!" I hissed, stalking up to the bars between us.

He laughed a stupid laugh and ignored my demands. I looked past his figure for a moment and across the way, noting the several dark, empty cages. In the row below, I could see figures crouched behind in the shadows, shaking, their eyes glistening in the dark. They looked... demented.

"Whassa matter kitty? Didja have a bad dream, want me to hold your paw and make the nightmares go away?"

The simpleton then proceeded to laugh at his own joke, but there was a suggestive sort of undertone beneath.

I looked back into his face and felt the rage bubble within me, this close to boiling over. I hate being ignored.

"Touch me and I'll kill you, you sick freak!" My claws had come out now and were just waiting to tear into his flesh. "I mean it! You have no idea who I am..."

He seemed unaffected by my threat and laughed again like a kit entertained by chasing his own tail. "You're jus' the crazy she-cat living in that old buildin', that's all you are!"

"Yeah? Well soon I'll be the crazy she-cat who covered these walls with your blood! So laugh while you can. It won't be long now." I muttered darkly, stepping back to glare at the tom from the shadowy confines of the cage.

He cocked his head slightly and looked as if he was about to say something when another cat suddenly leapt up onto the stack beside him.

"I heard voices! Who's this?" Her attention turned to me almost immediately.

Never in my life had I seen an uglier looking she-cat. There was hardly a hair on her body, and her brownish-yellow eyes bulged outward, lined by dark rings of what could have been taken as fatigue or a lack of sleep- Me, I would have voted for insanity. The fat of her skin hung down in layers, wrinkling her figure- and her voice, her voice sounded like claws being dragged down against a wall. The only thing on her bare body was an odd looking black color, with what looked to be some sort of strange human invention on it. At first I wasn't even sure if it even was a she-cat...

She looked like a giant rat to me.

"Are you flirting with this little mouse behind my back?" she hissed. The presence of the hairless she-cat had effectively caused the tabby to lose any interest in me and the two became locked in their own little conversation. Her voice lowered dangerously. "'Cause if you did, I swear..."

"Me?" he started weakly. "You know I'd never do that, sweetie. You're the only she-cat in tha world for me. This is jus' a cat tha the master picked up today, and I think it's safe to say that she'll be joinin' us for dinner."

The she-cat narrowed her eyes, "For what? Annunciate when you talk to me! You know all too well that I can't stand it when you talk like that! And make sure the master gives you your collar the next time you go out so you don't freaking lose it again!" she screeched horribly.

"Okay, okay." He submitted in an effort to appease her. I was listening to their conversation, but I was also more focused on trying to find a way out. There were two stone walls on the side of my cage, and two made of human material. The wall had a crack in it, but it was way too tiny to fit anything through, much less get a good look outside.

"I was just sayin' that she's here for dinner."

Now much calmer than she was before, the she-cat allowed her sneer to fall and sat down. "Good. Dinner. I'm _starving_- And I'm sick to death of those disgusting pellets!"

Her mate, as I gathered, nodded to her and moved to leap off the stack of boxes. "I'll jus' go check on 'em and we'll wait until the Master leaves." He disappeared from sight leaving me alone with the revolting she-cat. Slowly, she turned to me and narrowed her eyes. Then she came up to the bars and bared her yellow, blackening teeth. "You nasty little rat! Trying to steal _my _mate- in my own home! How bloody rude..."

These cats were both demented! I had only a vague idea of where I was and what was going on, or even what would happen to me, and she was more concerned with me moving in on her stupid mate?!

"Who in stars name are you?!" I returned, feeling my fur bristle.

Her mouth twitched for a moment and I could see a psychotic rage growing in her eyes. "_Shut up! _Shut up you stupid cat! I know what you're up to!" She rambled on, voice growing higher with each word as her claws tore viciously at the cardboard of the box. "You kept staring at him with these big, amber eyes-" she crooned. "You want him for yourself, don't you? You think you can take him from me?! Well! I've got just the solution."

I watched as she stood up on her hind legs and placed her paws up against my cage, pushing up a sort of lever I was unable to reach. The door swung open widely, and I saw my chance. But my body did not move as fast as my mind. It was still recovering from being knocked unconscious and I fell upon trying to dash forward. "You give me no choice...I can't risk losing him..."

She was coming toward me now and stepping dangerously closer, her pale claws shining in the flickering light.

"I have to make sure he won't be attracted to you anymore..."

My heart was pounding in my chest as her paws came to the edge of my body and her grotesque form came towering over me. A satisfied grin came upon her face, and her eyes narrowed into two tiny slits.

"You won't need these _eyes_, or this_ face_, for much longer anyway."

I saw her leg begin to move and I tried in one last effort to move away, but it was pointless. The image of sharp claws flashed in my vision and I pulled my head back in an effort to escape them. This effort was a fruitless one however, and the world went dark, and my face numb. After a short moment the pain set in and I could feel a burning sensation along with the repeated tear after tear as thorn sharp claws dug into my skin. My body convulsed naturally in response to the pain and I managed to stumble back only by pushing off of my hind legs.

My breathing became unnatural and irregular as my body went into a panic. I remained pressed against the wall in an effort to get a hold of myself, and to work past the immense pain burning in my face, consuming it. It felt like my entire face was on fire!

"No one will do it right if you don't do it yourself." A large slam made me jump from within my world of darkness, signaling the closing of the cage once more. Now that I was alone, my legs crumbled beneath me and I sat in a defeated heap, feeling numb to the world.

Everything was black, and my face was hot and sticky. And my eyes...

I don't know how long I laid there, shuddering in the dark. But eventually, I heard a cat jump up onto the boxes.

There was a short silence.

"I see my old sweetie took out her claws... Again. What a shame." It was him again. "I really liked your eyes. It coulda been the start of something for us, if ya know what I mean. A darn shame..."

I was hardly listening to him.

"She does that every single time! What do they call it...? Trust issues? Yeah, I think that's it. Well, never mind. Plenty more fish in the sea, eh? I'm not too fussy, but even I 'ave some standards. Ain't gonna touch a bird like you, I'll be honest, kitty. You look like crap. But I don't want you to think I'm not a kind cat. There's plenty of time before dinner, and you're in pain, so I've brought something to end your suffering. Think of it like an option. I've got this rat poison here- The master always keeps a full stock. You'd be long dead before you feel anything. Sounds good, right? I mean, it's just an idea, no pressure or anything."

His words made me sick.

"Ahhh, of course! You can't see it, those scratches turned your eyes into nothin' but jelly. So I'll just leave it for you here, feel free to use it. I better go now, we wouldn't want to get caught again now would we? You naughty minx..." He left the stuff outside the cage and turned away.

I could hear him beginning to pad away, preparing to jump off the tower of boxes, so I opened my mouth, only just able to talk in a pitiful, pained whisper.

"What was that?" The sound of movement stopped.

"You can't reach it?" A short silence overcame the distance between us. "Well what did you expect?" he intoned plainly. "Life's a real bitch sometimes."

* * *

My eyes-I couldn't see a thing. That filthy ratty she-cat! I managed to get up again despite the pain and walked blindly forward to where I would eventually reach the wall of the cage. How was I supposed to find it?

I stuck my paw out of several different openings until my paw knocked over some sort of box. Then I repeated the action, able to feel the powder now covering my paw. When I felt I had enough, I pulled my paw back in and sat dully thinking of what I was going to do...

I had no choice.

"I'm sorry Bailey... It looks like I'll have to break my promise."


End file.
